Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 15 November 2006

15 November 2006

For your Text Alert Diary, one of the great joys of working at home is being able to make a cup of tea whenever and however I want. Sadly, my biscuit tin always lets me down. By midweek all that remains are the crumbs of chocolate covered Hobnobs. The Jaffa Cakes don't even make it that far, munched within hours of the Saturday shop. In their absence the serviceable reserves of Rich Tea biscuits acquired from the nearby corner shop have to do. I want to dunk and I don't care what biscuit I have to do it.

Alan Buckley, however, comes across as a more conservative man, who would rather go without than succumb to such a meagre biscuit. The top man has made it clear he's seen what is in the Blundell Park tin, but isn't going to rush and bring any old biscuits in to the changing room. "I can go out there and sign ten players but they might not be the right players for Grimsby Town." The loan window shuts a week tomorrow, but rest assured Sir Alan knows his biscuits from his cookies, and won't be settling for any of that Maryland crap.

How times changes for the reserves. A couple of weeks back such was the disillusionment with the first XI, there was unheralded jubilation as the club's stiffs - full to the brim with youngsters (or, hee hee, home-made biscuits, if we are to continue that tedious analogy) - broke their winless streak. And then they followed it up with a second glorious win! Now with Buckley back and hogging the limelight, it is time for the second string to return to playing second fiddle. They're taking on Sheffield United's 'B team' today, and Stuart Watkiss is already getting his excuses in, forced, as he is, to use ever younger youngsters: "It's great to win of course but results can be misleading if we play a weakened side, for instance. What we look for mainly is the performance." And all eyes will be on the performance of trialist midfielder Kyle Nix, who, like a twelfth man in cricket, is borrowed from today's opposition.

"No running. No petting. No bombing." Those were the three key no-nos I remember on a poster at Scartho Baths. And Gary Cohen and that hot little biscuit called Luton's Michael Reddy are out to flaunt the first of those rules, grasses teacher's pet the Grimmo Telegraph. It's OK though, before you purse your lips and whistle Mr Lifeguard, for the lads are using "Aqua Running" in their get fit programme. Apparently, unlike running on a football pitch, running in a pool doesn't put stress upon ankles, knees and hip joints, which means less chance of the guys hurting themselves again. Yeah, and NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA it also means you move as quick as the Six Million Dollar Man in those slo-mo sequences. Shelly Wilkins, whose scheme this is, also thinks "it would also be good for the fit players because you are using your leg muscles all the time". Shelly, meet Gary Jones...

Speaking of the man who looks like his daily sustenance is ten packets of chocolate digestives covered in extra chocolate, the Tellywag is giving away a "day to remember" to some lucky under-14s. Nine-year-old Joe Lofts reckoned "it was really good" because he got to run onto the pitch with Gaz J. A nine-year-old and Gary Jones - who would win that race?

And finally to the top story on the OS, the promise of "John and Alan - part 2". Not, sadly, the second instalment of a chat with comic book legends John Wagner and Alan Grant discussing Judge Dredd among others. Although you wouldn't put such a trick past Dale Ladson and his internet pixies, this is actually the concluding half of Monday's confabulation with Grimsby Town's chairman and manager. And if your Diary writer had remembered to renew his Mariners World subscription we'd be able to tell you what the top two said. Before you say: "Call this coverage? This takes the biscuit!", though, fear not, for the supporters' trust (who have kinda reminded me this morning my trust membership is paid by direct debit, unlike my Mariners World sub) are going to transcribe the whole thing and put it up on their website at some point in the near future. If you want your AB video fix and can't afford luxuries like Mariners World, then try this free little gem hidden away on This Is Grimsby. Enjoy.