Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 4 January 2007
4 January 2007
Alan Buckley has moved swiftly to plug the Mariners' leaky defence by signing an injured Australian winger. Former Crystal Palace person Nicky Rizzo has joined on a one-month loan from Bastard Franchise Scum FC, where he has struggled to hold down a place this season since getting crocked last summer. Rizzo began his English career with Liverpool, where he was thought to have been hailed as the heir apparent to Steve McManaman, but experts on Scouse pronunciation later revealed that the word was 'hair'. Frantic googling by the Diary suggests that he has won at least one full cap for Australia, though RSSSF begs to differ. In 2000 he swapped Palace for Ternana, moving on again in 2003 but staying in Italy with AC Prato. It was the following year when he switched from AC Prato to MK Prats (it's a cheap gag but someone had to make it), and for what it's worth Rizzo seems to be highly thought of by the group of people who have chosen to associate themselves with the Franchise - one hesitates to use the word 'fans' - though if they know or care anything about football then you would generally expect them to have found a club of their own to support instead of stealing one from another community. But I digress.
Like some of its national tabloid counterparts, the Grimsby Telegraph may have one or two knockers - but the paper is currently in the midst of a Martin Patersonesque run of good form while other sites in the GTFC internet news team perform poorly. Today it is only because of the local rag that we learn of a 24-hour recall clause in the extended loan contracts of Paterson and Anthony Pulis, and the same story shares speculation that the recent outstanding performances of Mariners midfield maestro Ricky 'Richard' Ravenhill have caught the eye of Darlington. If this accurately represents the aptitude of the Quakers' managerial team, it might go some way to explaining their recent plunge down the fourth division league table, but Lord Buckley has told the Telegraph that the one club interested in Rrricky was not the one with the stadium eight times the size of its average gate. "I haven't had any contact with Darlington... one club did show an interest in Ricky but I am not sure if he would have wanted that move," says the boss, quite clearly underestimating the potential of Eastwood Town.
Even during an impressive series of performances, though, there are always those who can't resist a cheap shot, as an email to the Diary from Pat Bell demonstrates. Then again, perhaps he's just playing Telegraph to the Diary's OS and doing the work I can't be bothered with. Pat has been reading the Telewag's recent overview of loan transfers and picked up on a thought-provoking slip in the paper's usual high standards of linguistic proficiency. "How do you bare a testament?" asks Pat, scratching his head sarcastically. Beats me, comrade. Is it something to do with Revelation?
Lastly from your regular Diary this week - before you are delivered unto the loving grace of Durham Diary tomorrow - there's an email from Loughborough Mariner. "Happy New Year to you, all the best for 2007 and keep up the sterling work," it begins, cheerily. Thankyou very much, and the same to you. "Thought I should draw the attention of you and your readers to Badly Drawn Boy's chip gigs, one of which is in lovely old Grimsby. What a marvellous idea: some chips with scraps whilst some troubadour in a tea cosy serenades you! Wonder if he'll be dishing up the chips beforehand?" But if the chips turn out anything like his musical career, LM, then make sure your portion is the first one out of the fryer, because everything after that will be crap.