Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 3 January 2007

3 January 2007

All is quiet today on Town's official website. Nothing has been posted there since yesterday, when the club invited supporters to pay £9.99 (including postage and packing) for a DVD of the previous day's match: the Mariners' heaviest home defeat for nearly ten years. One theory is that the employees on the OS have been given today off since they were unable to take New Year's Day as a regular bank holiday, but this overlooks the fact that all but one of the club's playing staff seemed to be missing on Monday.

How lucky we are once again, then, that the Grimsby Telegraph is here to fill in the gaps. The Daily Mail's little North East Lincolnshire brother today warms the hearts of all those fans who suffered the 4-0 pounding by Rochdale two days ago by reporting with just a hint of glee that the guilty men were themselves suffering "the cold and rain at their Cheapside training base yesterday" while their next opponents Walsall were preparing for a warm-weather training camp in Gran Canaria. The Diary's cockles now suitably thawed, I would like to suggest that GTFC bosses offer free soup and tea to holders of stubs from the Dale debacle and post videos of the players drenched and shivering on Youtube or, at the very least, Mariners World.

Cod Almighty statistician Andy Holt - think Carol Vorderman with a younger, more lithe physique - has been roused from his new year torpor by John Pakey's appeal yesterday for information on the Think of a Number competition he was running for Cod Almighty. Andy has asked the Diary to announce that the scores have been updated "and my money is on Steven Young. Oh, and a stat for free, as a kind of Ballpark Figures apology, our lucky shirt number this year is 17. We have scored 1.31 points per game when Martin McIntosh, Andy Butler or Peter Till have played." Thanks, chief. Have they given you that pay rise yet?

While I remember, Cod Almighty jack of all trades Simon Wilson - think Bradley Walsh with a Louth accent - texted the Diary last night to request a bump for our top 50 Town goals votey thing. Lots of people have voted, apparently, but if you haven't voted then you've only got until next Monday so to do. My money's on Dave Gilbert.

Next it's one of those emails sent to the Diary or the Postbag (who must still be in bed) every few months that remind us why we started this interweb fanzine in the first place and why we carry on. "Hi there," writes Dave Nelson. "Since I have nothing useful to do, I think it is time that I showed my appreciation of your website. Whilst I could never claim to be a keen Town fan when I lived in Grimsby, I do follow their occasional fortunes. I suppose that memories of watching them in the old first division, beating Chelsea 2-0 when a good tackle by a full-back was one which deposited the winger against the fence, have made watching the current styles of play a bit tame. However, I have become an avid follower via Cod Almighty purely because I love the erudition contained therein. By my second year as a distant fan of the site, I am even able to work out whom you are talking about when you refer to some of the players." Sir, my life is complete. "After a lifetime of failure," continues Mr Nelson, "I have developed a high regard for lack of talent (in Formula 1 I tend to look out for Minardi first!) and two of my sons living Manchester way are followers of Leigh RMI so it runs in the family. The nearest team to where I live now is Cambridge United but there are limits to even my tolerance. Keep me amused in my dotage." Many thanks, Dave - I can't speak for the rest of the CA team, but as long as Town's official website keeps the Diary amused, I will try and do likewise.

And this just in, via ofcl clb txt sms srvc: Chester's postponed visit to Blundell Park has been rescheduled for Tuesday 8 January, it says here, to kick off at 8:45. Bit of a late finish then. I guess when you arrange a fixture at such short notice, even one extra hour must make some difference. And isn't Tuesday the 9th?

No, hang on - they've sent another one! And no, it's 7:45, and this time it's the 9th. Cancel all your plans. Oooh, and Pulis and Paterson have now signed those extended loan deals. It's ofcl!