Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 8 January 2008

8 January 2008

Positive John Fenty's public persona has switched from Victorian capitalist benefactor to Edwardian retired colonel. In his outpourings to the local media and Town's superb new official website the club's chairman is usually to be found patiently explaining to the little people how his grand plans for the Fentydome will bring self-reliance, salvation and sanitation, but today's statement on the SNOS finds him spluttering blimpishly about the need to bring back national service for the eleven ruffians who were arrested at Chesterfield on Saturday. "Anyone that can help convict these mindless thugs and expose any attempt of organised thuggery must come forward," harrumphs PJF, who was banned from driving for six months in 2005 after driving at 93 miles an hour on the M180 and local magistrates added five points to the nine already accrued on his licence. "They should be sent to the front line to fight for their country and we would soon see how brave they are, without stewards and police to save them," concludes the chairman, waving a blunderbuss and composing an outraged epistle to the Daily Telegraph advocating the flogging of four-year-olds in nurseries.

In his first months with Hibernian after joining the club from GTFC, Rob Jones was viewed by fans in the green half of Edinburgh as a local hero to rank alongside Alexander Graham Bell, JK Rowling and deep-fried Cadbury's selection boxes. In the last few months, however, the Stick has undergone a staggering loss of public support, which probably serves him right for requesting a transfer as soon as Dirty Leeds came sniffing around him. A story in today's Scotsman newspaper links Jones with a move to Ipswich, and readers' responses to the online version are almost unanimous in the view that Hibs should take the money and run (presumably after forwarding to Blundell Park the relevant sell-on percentage). The only voices of support for the lanky centre-half, in fact, come from readers such as "KingKenny", who opines: "Ipswich Town like Rob Jones. but He is SPL Top Defender. I don't like Jones Leave. I hope New Coach keep Jones". You tell 'em, mate - we didn't like Jones Leave either.

Danny Boshell is back in training ahead of tonight's Dulux Cup tie at Stockport, says Town's superb new official website. Let's hope they find a superb new telecommunications infrastructure from somewhere as well, cos their phones are on the blink again as well. See you tomorrow!