Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 20 March 2008

20 March 2008

"Defining what 'it' is" wasn't the only thing Durham Diary neglected yesterday. Unreported later on this page, Town's reserve team travelled to an away fixture against Darlington on Tuesday night and managed to lose again, this time by one goal to nil, despite apparently fielding 16 players. According to the Grimsby Telegraph, the match took place at the home of nearby Norton & Stockton Ancients FC, rather than at the George Reynolds New Stadium Williamson Motors 96.6 TFM Darlington Balfour Webnet Darlington Arena, presumably to keep the playing surface at the latter in its current immaculate and pristine condition.

Durham also wrote off Town's chances of making the play-offs, despite the administrators' return to Rotherham leaving the Mariners only five points away from seventh place, largely on the grounds of Rochdale's games in hand. In this he neglected the important historical lesson that Rochdale have always played fewer games at this time of the season due to their often waterlogged pitch, always look capable of a late play-off push because of their games in hand, and always lose them. Town are due at Spotland a week on Saturday, of course. Fancy a trip west, Durham, or are you passing from youthful exuberance into jaded pessimism?

To today's news, then, and the Diary's ageing heart leaps a little at the announcement of a new three-year contract for Town's longest-serving player Sir John McDermott Nick Hegarty. Although it is only recently that he has established himself in the first team, the flame-haired left winger from Pontefract, or is it Wakefield, seems to have been aged 21 for the entire five years that he's been on the books at Blundell Park. Hegarty was the subject of an approach in January from Dundee, who were impressed by the player's form in the first half of the season and thought he looked a bit Scottish, but stuck around to keep getting better and scoring goals, and has now put his name to a new deal keeping him in Cleethorpes up to 2011. "Who knows, there could still be a big finish to the season from us," the player muses in the Telegraph, clearly more than aware of Rochdale's tendency to lose their games in hand.

Upper-case type is this week's big concern for Boston United-supporting Diary reader Pete Brooksbank. "I understand you are huge fans of Grimsby Town's SNOS or SONOS or whatever it is - and why not? The new PTV template is, well, busy, isn't it? But perhaps all is not as it seems. I was rather alarmed to receive an e-mail from Forest yesterday with the subject: 'Happy Easter PETE'. Christ! What have I done to upset Forest's website? I suspect it might have continued, had there been room: 'Happy Easter PETE - hope you CHOKE on your Easter egg PETE you BASTARD, where the FUCK were you when we needed you against WALSALL eh PETE - you're a DEAD man PETE'. All of which makes me a bit sad, because it immediately made me think of HAL and Arthur C Clarke, who probably wrote a short story that predicted the uprising of emotionless, cold-blooded websites belonging to provincial lower-league football clubs years ago. If only we'd listened. None of which is relevant to Grimsby at all, so I shall simply say please do football a favour and crush the Franchise Scum at Wembley - we can do you a deal on Crane if you'd like him back for the day, I'm sure." THANKS, Pete! There may be a use on the day for six-foot-five centre-backs with a short fuse and a big bum - even if it is only an incentive to get the match decided within 90 or 120 minutes, as TC's record from the penalty spot in this competition is not the best.

Before I take my leave of you, handing over to Guest Diary for tomorrow's round-up, we have an email from Mark Wilson, who has responded to Tuesday's doomy deconstruction of the marketing copy pasted wearily on to the SNOS in connection with the Dulux Cup final. "Having spent a short part of my career in PR and comms," he writes, "I'm fucking pleased I got out before my life was trashed by your expose of PR people's miserable existences. I can hold my head high now. Thanks Diary." That's OK Mark. As long as Mrs Diary doesn't read it and realise I've been spending my time composing outrageous public slurs upon her profession, I'll live to write another week.