Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 19 March 2008

19 March 2008

Hi guys! Durham Diary here, called in last minute to replace His Royal Diaryness who pulled a bum cheek in warm up. There's a lesson for us all to learn from this.

First up today is a nugget of good news for all of us non-season-ticket-holding Grimsby fans who are planning to watch the Mariners play Brentford on Easter Monday. The club have taken the highly commendable and well received (from this direction at least) step of announcing reduced ticket prices for said fixture. The SNOS, not satisfied with a reduction, have gone one step further and urinated freely over the entry fee, proclaiming as they have "Brentford Prices Slashed".

If you haven't heard already, Rotherham United have entered administration for the second time in a couple of years. While my boxers are firmly strung round the Grimsby Town bedpost these days, it is true that I was born in Rotherham and have the hardest of soft-spots for them. Going into administration twice in such a short period of time smacks either of Martin Pringle-like luck or Peter Ridsdale-like management, and the upshot is that Rotherham will be served with another ten point penalty moving them out of the play-off places and moving Grimsby up one place in the league. The SNOS are lightning fast to point out that Town are now just five points off the playoff places, although when you consider our negative goal difference five becomes six, and when you consider Rochdale have three games in hand on us it looks suspiciously like 11. Sorry, forgot the goal difference again: 12!

So our season all boils down to Wembley, and let's at least be grateful we have that to relieve the boredom. The SNOS reckon we've shifted 20,300 tickets for the big day, which is more than we managed for either of the two playoff finals Town have appeared in. Better news still is that Town's opponents on the day (who I shall not name to save those of you with short tempers and high blood pressures) have increased their allocation and genuinely look like they may sell all 32,000 they've been given. Why is this such good news? Well according to the published rules of the Colouring Competition, the proceeds of each match, after paying "the travelling expenses of the Visiting Club, the ground and other expenses of the match including VAT, floodlighting of the playing pitch and ancillary lighting (not to exceed £200), advertising, printing, postage, police charges, turnstile operators, stewards, contribution to first aid helpers and clearing the ground of snow" will be split 45% to each club and 10% to The Football League. Presuming, as I have, that this applies also to the final, the Mariners receive a hefty chunk of each ticket their opponents sell. Whoopeeee! Let's just hope there's no snow - we can't afford it.

Oh, and Town will have two mascots at Wembley: Mighty Mariner and the Youngs' Fishfinger. I kid you not. Still, in my opinion while ever Youngs keep putting more money into the club than anyone else would they're entitled to exploit any big events Town are involved in. And who did a giant chip ever do any harm to? Except John Prescot...

So there you have it, though what 'it' is I have carefully avoided defining. How is it only Wednesday?