Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 6 August 2008
6 August 2008
The Diary would never accuse Paul Bolland of tedious professional northernerism or a painful inability to sing a note, but there his dissimilarities with The Stone Roses end, as both Town's longest-serving central midfielder and the defunct Mancunian indie/dance crossover outfit have experienced serious second album trouble. After one outstanding season for the Mariners in 2005-06 Bolland - much to supporters' disappointment - has failed to produce anything like the same consistently wonderful form. Is it because his style was better suited to the more direct tactics used by Russell 'Sort It' Slade than to Lord Alan Buckley's patient passing approach? Is it because his awful run of bad luck with injuries seldom permits him a proper pre-season in which to build up fitness? No. Today, Town fans are at last able to surmise, it is because the player is up all night every night either feeding babies or making new ones, as the club's superb new official website has revealed this morning that he and his wife have just had a second little 'un since Bolly joined the Mariners. The Diary's congratulations go to Mrs and Mr B, who quipped to the Grimsby Telegraph in a reference to his current knee injury: "At least it gives me something to occupy myself while I can't play football!" From now on, though, Paul, you'd better start doing sudoku when you get crocked, or start looking for a 48-bedroom house.
From heroes to villains now, and while Town fans have been left mystified by the recent rise to prominence of Mark Clattenburg, both Mariners and Martin Pringle alike will take comfort from the financial misfortunes of the world's worst referee. After absurdly failing in 2002 to send off the then Stockport defender for shattering Pringle's leg in two places with the vilest foul ever committed on a football pitch, Clattenburg was rewarded with promotion to the Premier League. He may perform with greater distinction in his other job of electrician - presumably he must; otherwise he'd have snuffed himself out with 12 trillion volts up his arse last time he changed a plug - but not great enough to have stopped his company, MC Electrical Retail N/E Ltd, reportedly being wound up by the county court. Clattenburg denies owing £7,200 to another electrical firm and further money to his former mate, but has failed to comment on his outstanding debt to Martin Pringle.
"I thought the other Diary reader might be interested to know that Eastwood Town got tonked 5-2 by Notts County earlier in the summer," wrote Mark Wilson ages ago in an email to the Diary which I forgot to publish. "I don't know if we can draw a comparison but County are likely to be competing with Town for mid-table obscurity in the coming season." I guess mid-table obscurity would represent huge progress for the black-and-white-shirted perennial strugglers, though, eh. What do you mean 'which ones'?