Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 11 September 2008

11 September 2008

Town's fast-improving reserve team last night built on their narrow 7-1 defeat at Bradford the other week to claim a point at home to Rotherham. Goals from Andy Taylor and Chris Llewellyn clawed back a result after the Millers had raced into an early advantage, all four goals coming before half time. Significantly for the first team's chances of maybe winning a game sometime or basically being any good ever, no-longer-crocked defenders Robbie Stockdale and Richard Hope played the full 90 minutes, and Lord Alan Buckley cast his eye over a 26-year-old trialist who has started fewer than 50 matches at senior level and began the current season with Halesowen Town. "Town used the game to take a look at former Aston Villa, Bournemouth and Walsall midfielder Steven Cooke," explains the club's superb new official website. His name is Stephen, not Steven, and he's never been a Walsall player, but otherwise not a bad effort.

Before I leave you in the hands of an unidentified flying guest diarist for tomorrow, here's an email from long-suffering Pilgrim Pete Brooksbank showing that the Diary isn't the only one to have been closely following the fortunes of a certain loaned-out Mariner with little time for same-sex intercourse. "Not content with single-handedly annihilating Boston United two years ago, Straight Peter Bore is now costing me free beer by making unexpected appearances on the Setanta-branded big screens of Nottingham's finest drinking establishments during pub quizzes. I'll spare you the intricate details - suffice to say that the incident involved me barking 'Look! It's Peter fucking bastard Bore!' as I caught sight of the terrible teen prancing about during some live pub league football, the impassioned wail of this wronged Pilgrims fan drowning out a critical question regarding MC Hammer's real name. The outburst caused general panic and confusion within the team and resulted in us submitting the answer 'basketball'. We lost out on the main prize by a solitary point. Thanks, Straight Peter Bore." Robbed of first place at the last gasp by an unpleasant and untoward turn of events beyond your control, eh, Pete? I guess now you know how Dagenham felt in 2002!

And just when I was beginning to think the Diary's readership consists entirely of Boston and Lincoln supporters, seeking consolation for their own woes by following the Mariners' mishaps, here's an email from a living, breathing Grimsby Town fan. Sibbo writes in response to Monday's Diary, which argued that Town's real local rivals are not Lincoln, Boston, Scunthorpe or King$ton Communication$ FC but Liverpool, since it is Liverpool who the plastic 'fans' of Grimsby and Cleethorpes cravenly opt to align themselves with instead of supporting their own club. "Spot on with your view about how the Premiership is ruining the smaller clubs," he says. "I love my football but I don't watch much on TV and I didn't attempt watching England's two recent qualifying games as I don't subscribe to the necessary channel. Instead I'll pop down to good old BP on Saturday while we've still got a team to watch." Glad to hear it, mate - I shall see you in the Rutland.