Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 12 September 2008

12 September 2008

"I have asked a club about a player but I haven't even got to speak to their manager. He's seen fit not to return a call. Maybe he's busy, I don't know." When you leave a message for someone and they don't get back to you, what do you do, dear reader? Give them another bell to check they got the message in the first place, or just wonder while you wash the pots, your hands wet, covered in bubbles, if now will be the moment the phone will ring? Tell you what, Alan, if you've problems talking to people (make of that what you will after the recent interview with Dale on Mariners World), it's been a while since we tried such a thing, but just tell us who you're after and leave it with us.

That isn't why your Idle Diarist took time out from his day off from work to come on to the worldwide web though. A text message about some protest outside the ground tomorrow roused my curiosity. I've yet to seen anything about this gathering, probably meaning it's a couple of 'disillusioned season ticket holders' rather than a massed throng which won't be satisfied until Sir Alan is lynched. Any chorus of disapproval will have Chairman John peering down at the proles from the safe retreat of his boardroom, and he'll respond in his usual manner: a statement on the OS.

As for tomorrow's game, let Chester's Mr Know It All, Simon Davies, do the previewing: "I think Grimsby is going to be a really tough game. I really like the lad Danny Orr upfront, he hit the bar from about 35 yards out at the weekend, he's someone who caused us trouble last season. They do possess threats around their team so hopefully we can address that and have a look at their weaknesses." I hope this isn't some sort of cheap psychological trick by Davies, but with Chester anything's possible. Expect Town to stick out pretty much the same team as last weekend. Buckley liked what he saw of North in the midweek reserves game, but thinks that Richard Hope and Robbie Stockdale need some more stiffs action before they return to the first XI.

On which note I will leave you with this highly entertaining missive from Jim Waterson in all its glory:

Oh bloody hell, I've had enough of trying to understand you Lincolnshire types. It's not that I haven't tried: too long spent in the friendship of a Mariners fan and several misspent hours scrolling through the Cod Almighty archives along with the odd Wikipedia trawl surely counts as 'fair research'.

And, y'know, it's sweet to read your gently mocking take on the non-events at a lower league club. It must be nice to take the piss out of this here new stadium while facing the very real and terrifying threat of bucking the football trends and 'still being able to plod along quite happily at the old ground for another decade or so'. Our dodgy former directors could beat yours at mismanagement, comedy and immorality any day.

But...as a York City fan I'm frankly terrified by the mentions that "Straight" Peter Bore gets in your diary. What's going on? Is our new loan signing capable of dangerous and overwhelming heterosexuality? Should we take measures to negate the risk of him grabbing young maidens from the stands? Surely we don't need to resort to playing Beenie Man over the PA?

I need an answer. Preferably before something bad happens at Kettering on Saturday.

Regards,

Jim

P.S. He's pretty damn good, y'know