Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 16 June 2009

16 June 2009

In January 2006 Town rejected Luton's £325,000 offer for Michael Reddy: a costly gamble which failed when Reddy's hips turned to powder approximately six minutes later, bringing an abrupt end to the player's professional career. Three and a bit years later, club chairman John Fenty (Con) has given Barry Fry his best poker face, pulled down one of those funny green visor things over his eyes, and said no to an even bigger wedge of Irish punts from O'Peterborough for awesome teenage centre-back and club captain Ryan Bennett. It's probably a bit of a perverse comparison really, given that young Ry's value is only likely to rise over the two more years he's contracted to the Mariners for - not to mention that his hips aren't about to become powder and consign him to wikimythical wandering in Greenland and the Falkland Islands - but it was quite a good way to start the Diary, don't you think?

So what's been said? "It's a good offer and an offer which would potentially set a record for this division," admits JF(C), but adds: "The manager, who is influencing our thinking on this matter, has suggested that this is not the best time to be letting Ryan go." Today's Grimbo Telewag speculates idly that O'Peterborough's offer may have been in excess of half a million quid, but adds a revealing quote from Fenty that "we have other clubs like Scunthorpe and Blackpool showing an interest and at least two other high-profile sides at that level and above also keeping an eye on the situation". Yes, I know - the Irish punt was replaced by the euro in 2002. It's just not clear when the same will happen to the complete and utter punt O'Peterborough call their director of football.

The League Cup - or to use its proper sponsored title, the Fosters Cup - has been a kinder competition to the Mariners over the past two or three decades than the more revered FA Cup. Indeed, Town's sequence of eye-catching Fosters Cup wins against Everton, Aston Villa, Liverpool and Tottenham, among others, was followed by a first round victory last season against no less a power in English football than Tranmere Rovers - and bugger me sideways if this morning's draw hasn't paired the two teams again in the first stage of next season's tournament, albeit this time at Prenton Park. "It gets to your thirst fast," admitted new Rovers boss Mr J Barnes.

Jan Przeniczny has sent a marvellous email to the Diary on the recent subject, in Jan's words, of ichthyology and micturition - or if you prefer, "we piss on your fish". Here it is:

When I arrived in Grimsby, I soon found that fish 'n' chips meant haddock. Cod is what you threw back. In Scunthorpe FnC meant cod and chips, with haddock as a 'special' if they had any. In Wakefield FnC meant some kind of white fish in batter. Could be fillet or minced. Some posh chippies sold cod as a special. Now I write this to show that Grimmies/Meggies know a thing or two about fish, and that anointing the fish before dispatch sent a strong message out there not to mess with 'us'. Hence it's an actual thing, not figurative.

However, on reflection, this is dangerous, for it may be fairly easy to segregate fish between NE Lincs and the rest, hence a quick spray before despatch, but what about Barton, Caistor and Louth? Surely pockets of Mariners fans are digesting the fish we have 'prepared' for our enemy? Also, I've worked in the fish industry and technical controls are not what we think, so some/lots of fish are being anointed for 'home' consumption anyway. I suggest that a campaign is set up by CA to change the chant to a more accurate, however, admittedly, less frightening "we piss on all the fish". Yes, it's a weak chant, but in these litigious days where peanut packers must put "may contain nuts" on the outer and the frozen pea manufacturer must remind people that the chips, steak and plate are not inside the bag, only peas, we either must stop the chant, or become more accurate. A vague 'custom and practice' is no longer good enough for the 21st century.

"We piss on all the fish." I could get used to it, I suppose - although we might have to alter the melody to 'La Donna e Mobile' from Verdi's Rigoletto.

Finally today, Jason Crowe has joined third division Leeds United. He used to play for Grimsby, you know.