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Diary - Wednesday 7 October 2009

7 October 2009

WEM-BER-LEY! WEM-BER-LEY! As Mike Newell's beloved Luton showed last season, there's nothing like a Dulux Cup win to distract you from the devastating heartbreak of losing your status as a member of the Football League - and while Town's struggles in the league show no sign of ending any time soon, last night's excellent 2-0 win at Hartlepool in the paint thing placed them in this Saturday's draw for the northern section quarter-finals. By all accounts (no, of course none of us went) the Mariners fully deserved their win, with a super first appearance of the season by The Jarman showing what we've been missing. Town being Town, of course, it may be the tenth time this decade that we've knocked higher-division opponents out of a cup competition, but every silver lining has a cloud, and the rain on our parade this time is a third red card in seven games for Grimsby's, er, notorious hardman, um, Danny Boshell, which raises the questions of whether (a) Boshell and Barry Fucking Conlon are having some sort of bet; and (b) we'll just get that tax bill paid off and then the FA will notice we have the worst disciplinary record in the world and fine us £8scrillion.

Over in the Diary's inbox, Matt Pakes has reminded us of a fantastic Town-related story which Guest Diary rather surprisingly opted not to cover last Friday and which would then have spoilt the effect of our single-issue rants on Monday and Tuesday. For those of you who haven't already seen, then, the news is that Gary Montgomery - one of the infamous Luton Three who were dramatically shown the door by Mike Newell last season as the squad prepared for a game against Town's relegation rivals - has followed up his spell as reserve goalkeeper with the Mariners by joining Lancashire County Cricket Club as a left-arm seam bowler. The rumour doing the rounds, of course, was that when Newell decided he'd seen enough of Phil Barnes in nets, he turned to the second-choice keeper to step up to the first team only for Montgomery to tell him he didn't want to play - so in this light perhaps his decision to switch sports is a shade less surprising. Insert your own joke here about his inability to field at extra cover, or something.

Dave the Engineer, meanwhile, emailed on Monday to say: "As I had a couple of hours to spare on Saturday afternoon, I decided to watch my local football team. Attack and endeavour, then a breakaway, the defence didn't cope and it's one-nil down. More attack and nearliness and another breakaway - a fine finish made it two-nil down. Just before half time the goalscoring machine was dismissed for violent conduct and after the break, following a goalkeeping mistake, it was three-nil. Sleeves were rolled up and attack continued: 1-3 and the comeback's on, penalty, 2-3 and the opposition are all over the place. With seven minutes remaining it's three apiece and now who's waiting for the final whistle? Sadly this story ends like so many at Blundell Park, with defeat. The game, Louth Town v Sleaford in the FA Vase. Sleaford won 4-3 after extra time. The Louth side, missing five regulars and playing from 30 minutes with ten men, showed what is lacking at Grimsby: passion, skill and a game plan. But it's not the same!" Sounds like a belter though, sir. The Diary is always delighted to hear from readers who pop along to check out their local teams as a break from suffering the Mariners, so email diary@codalmighty.com with any more.

If Mawhinney Takes The Lead, it must be a very weak dog.