Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 6 October 2009

6 October 2009

Mardy Diary writes: Muh. Meh. Hanuuuuuurf. Hmph. Nuh. Ahem. Oh God, isn't the football season over yet? Look, we're above the relegation spots - we survived. Brilliant - we can start looking forward to next season. No? Oh bollocks. Hartlepool away, in the paint pot trophy, on a wet Tuesday, in my condition? Remember when we used to comfortably beat teams like that? Nope - me neither. Ten more years of hurt, never stops me dreaming - apart from those nights it keeps me awake in a cold sweat of course.

There is some news. There will be some changes. Some player or other will play instead of some other player or other. The faces change, the faeces stays the same. At least The Jarman might make a return - someone with a bit of spark about them. Or maybe the club has kicked that out of him too? We need Pouton back - if not in the midfield (and really, he'd be better than what we've seen since he left - still), then to march up and down the touchline screaming at the players. Our club needs a nutter, but not one that just gets sent off though eh Barry Fucking Conlon?

It can't rain all the time, I will admit - yet seemingly, we can be shit all the time. All the time. All of the little time we have on this planet. We can be shit for all of that time, and beyond. Apparently. Why do other teams seem to sign players that want to make an effort every week? I wouldn't mind even if we signed a load of relentless, mindless automatons - like Dagenham. Must score. Must score. Must score. Score. Must score more. Must score more. Score. Playing Grimsby - keep going. They will fold. Fold approaching. Fold achieved. Score. Score.

There must be a team on this planet that are currently more shit than us. I'd suggest we contact them and offer to form a breakaway league, but they'd only start tonking us 3-0 at home after six months.

Tonight I will follow the score online - and I will despair. You hear that Town? That is my pre-emptive sigh. You'd better shape up.