Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 3 September 2010

3 September 2010

Hey up Town fans, Guest Diary here to help you over any trauma you may have suffered because of unintended exposure to Richard Madeley over the last week or so. The blighter clings on to whatever is left of his fame like a cockroach in the fridge and has been turning up in the oddest of media places most unexpectedly - peddling his excuse for a book club. Sometimes with his would-be novelist wife in tow. Please avoid WH Smiths at all costs because it's not a bookshop anyway and I have the strongest feeling that their completely pointless shop interiors will be even worse than normal because there's bound to be life-size cardboard cut-outs of the gruesome twosome involved. You have been warned gentle reader, you have been warned.

Any road, at least this weekend I won't have to put up with Radio Humberside's way-over-the-top gloom about Town and their disparaging remarks about Conference teams they haven't heard of. Because of my enforced house arrest, I've had to listen to their commentaries on all the matches so far. And Messrs Burns, Tondeur and the younger one whose name escapes me had all better listen up. Town have sunk in to the fifth division. Stop comparing what you are watching to earlier halcyon days when Town had good players and played nice football in a respectable division. We all know that you are watching poor-standard football executed by much lesser gods. So stop telling us every 30 seconds how crap it all is, how scrappy, and how poor the quality of play. Just lower the bar of your expectation. Monday was perhaps the nadir - I came away from the radio at full time utterly depressed despite Town winning, only to get a batch of texts from mates at the match telling me it was a lot better than the impression given by Mr Burns and his mate.

Don't get me wrong: it is harder work enjoying what's on offer this season. But we are stuck with it so we need to find ways to go through a game without harking back to the good old days all the time. Connell is a very good player. Peter Bore is becoming a good player, as will Bradley Wood(s). Give Eagle and Gobern a chance, for Christ's sake. So there are things to watch and enjoy. And pray, pray real hard that there's an unattached central midfield player who has a bit of pace or who can pass the ball creatively. Or score; or all three. What a difference signing him would make.

So I won't bother with Humberside tomorrow having already scouted out a hookey free video stream. And I'm off the leash next week, so Tamworth here I come. But one game at a time, as they say - how's Town's injury list looking? Well, Woodses has revealed that Bore and Ridley (can't we sign a full-back called Newton?) trained on Thursday. But we have to wait to see if there's a reaction on Friday. Peter Bore we need you - be a brave heterosexual and play. Connell was a momentary scare after he took a knock on his knee on Monday but it sounds as if he'll be alright. Ademeno is out for ages though. Coulson, no doubt buoyed by his England C call-up, is reported to be jogging again. And the new loan keeper, Richard O'Donnell, whom the manager had scouted several times last season he says, has fitted in a treat. Get tomorrow's game out of the way and the match frequency drops off to weekly so let's hope that gives time to get the injured fit and work on some of the more alarming deficiencies displayed of late.

Before I go I'll give you that link to the ropey Town pitch which Andrew Hubbert emailed in about ages ago. Sorry, Andrew - this week's diarists have just ignored your good work in unearthing several bits of footage of the Town team of the 1930s on Pathé News. Note for the timorous: the video says Arsenal v Barnsley but Town's bit is near the end (ever the unfashionable Grimsby). In fact, if you chuck Grimsby into the site search box there are a few more Town games and other old stuff to do with fishing and that - all well worth half an hour's slack time. Shame they always talked about the goals but rarely bothered to show them in those days. I can't be arsed to Google further but I seem to think 1936 was a very wet year. See yer.