Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 2 September 2010

2 September 2010

If you ever wondered during the course of last season, as your reserve-team diarist did, exactly what cosmic purpose was being served by the agony of seeing Grimsby Town plummet out of the Football League, the Grimsby Telegraph has found the answer: Olly Lancashire wanted experience of a relegation struggle. "Compared to playing reserve team football where nothing really matters", Mr Lancashire comments, "I was suddenly involved in a relegation battle - going there (Grimsby) I had to scrap." Glad we could be of service, Olly. If ever you want experience of a promotion, or a goodish season with a glimmer of hope of a play-off place, or even another relegation scrap, do let us know and we'll see what we can do.

Fears that the alleged drinking culture of Mike Newell's tenure might resurface were confirmed in the next of the Telegraph's stories, entitled: Debut gives young Tom Corner thirst for more. Tom, presumably overheard at his local AA meeting, reveals that "it's a massive boost to have someone like the gaffer who believes in you." We all believe in you Tom, you can do it.

Like most Grimsby fans, your reserve-team diarist has spent many a night since the end of last season unable to sleep with worry over what fate might befall Adam Proudlock. Apparently, he might be about to join Kidderminster Harriers. A great weight off all our minds. As is the news that Grimsby legend Arnaud Mendy has joined Tranmere.

Should Sir John McDermott or Ciaran Toner ever suffer from nightmares of being harangued from the touchline by a short, bald man demanding that they 'keep it on the deck', they can doubtless offer the necessary consolation to each other, both having joined Harrogate Town.

Not content with offering a story entirely filled with news of a current Grimsby Town player, the Telegraph couldn't resist concluding a quite interesting story about Michael Coulson's England 'C' call up, with the news that he is to be joined in the squad by former "loan striker Ben Wright who recently joined Crawley Town from Hayes & Yeading." If anyone can remember which one he was, do let us know.