Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 11 October 2010

11 October 2010

Afternoon, and welcome to your Mardy Diary live from the draw for the fourth qualifying round of the FA Cup. Well, not quite. But I write this in anticipation of the draw. As soon as I know the outcome I shall cut and paste it here. We can guarantee that we'll be possibly the seventh or eighth internet-based news source to bring you the draw for the FA Cup. Yes - we're telling you what you already know, but that's just what we do (see also: Towers, Ivory).

Ah, the FA Cup. The magic of the cup. The smell of Brasso on metal. The ribbons. The road to Wembley. The corporate sponsorship. Teams getting through to the next round despite losing because Man Utd are too busy furthering their capitalist empire abroad. It's these kind of footballing traditions that we need to cling on to in this age of spit-roasting, bar-fighting, money-laundering football. And so, the drum roll, please...

Yes, it's Tamworth who will have the honour of knocking us out of the FA Cup this season. Congratulations to Tamworth on your victory, and hopefully you'll draw a proper big club like Dagenham or Cheltenham in the first round proper. Do people still call it the 'first round proper'? No, just me.

And with that excitement out of the way for another season, it's back to Sunday: Ebb and flow. Win and lose. That's Town at the moment - they're tidal. As at Cleethorpes, when the tide goes out, you wonder if it'll ever come back in. And when it's high tide you can gaze out and enjoy its magnificence. And us, the supporters? I don't know. One week we're sailing the ocean of victory, rising up with the tide; the next week we're like an unwanted puppy with a rock tied to its ankles, thrown off the end of the pier. Sorry, this analogy is breaking down - like the Town defence. Oh yes, back from the brink.

You know the routine by now, surely? Either we've won and everyone just sits there tapping their fingers waiting for it to happen - whatever 'it' is; we're never quite sure of that ourselves. Or we've lost and it's time to Tell The Telegraph We've Not Been The Best Lately But We'll Get Better Now, Honest. This week it's Dwayne Samuels, but alas, the name may change but the message stays the same. We then have Neil Woods saying he doesn't understand why we did that thing that we did that made us lose. Ebb and flow, Neil. It's tidal. We drift in, we drift out.

And so it is the supporters who face another Monday morning still feeling seasick, hoping that these choppy waters settle down. Look, I've come this far with the analogy: I'm not going to drop it now. Bear with me. So, here we are - and any boat takes time to settle on previously unchartered waters. No, you're right, I can't keep this up, sorry.

Anyway, I'm of the opinion that it's hard to tell which way this season will currently go. If we settle down before the end of the season and start showing some consistency, that bodes well for the following season. If we don't get that consistency at any point this season, I will be concerned. But there's plenty of time to see which side we're going to drop - the season doesn't start until March anyway.

Besides, the verdict on the match from those that went seems to be: "good food". You see, if the food is good and the beer is decent the football loses its aggressive grip on your mental state. Yes, the result was poor but the pies were great - the universe thrives off that sort of balance. If you don't drink or eat, well, that's why you're grumpy isn't it? Don't blame the football.