Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 4 February 2011
4 February 2011
A February Friday with no match to anticipate. So no first team news and your Guest Diarist won't regurgitate the Telegraph (Jimmy Fell has died but he's before even my time, and Rob Peet's heroics at Newcastle have been punished by making him train at Old Trafford for a week).
Instead let's run the stag story. Diary regular Eve Barnard has been in touch again with an old story that slipped her memory:
"I forgot to let you know about a crisis averted by myself and fellow Mariner Katie George at the triumphant 7-2 thriller against Mansfield. We have a little tradition amongst our football gang that touching the stag's nose that hangs on the wall in the entrance to the BP Hotel will bring a win to the mighty Mariners. As we entered the place following the Mansfield game we walked into a Stags fan trying to get out of the door with OUR stag's head! After much scuffling (bearing in mind we were two women against about five men), and fibs about it falling off the wall, we managed to prise their fingers off and end the conflict with a definite "IT'S OURS!"
"Katie then knocked over several pints and injured at least three people as she carried the stag through to the bar so that it could be locked away from the naughty Stags fans. They left soon after. What a fine tale they could have told if they'd managed to get the stag out of the pub and back to Mansfield. They would have done it too if it wasn't for us pesky girls!"
Talking of pubs, the previous landlord where us Cod Almighty types drink used to be naughty and hook his laptop up to the big telly in the corner and watch top division English footy on some foreign channel or other. I don't think that sort of thing is ever going to be legal but taking out a cheap (quarter of the price) subscription to a foreign satellite service apparently is, according to a very important, highly-paid EU person yesterday.
And that raises the whole issue of showing matches on telly at 3pm on a Saturday. Everyone has always said the voluntary embargo on doing that is essential so the likes of Grimsby Town continue to get a few paying spectators on a Saturday afternoon. Because, the conventional wisdom goes, if Man Ure are on the telly then Town fans will crack open a can, wiggle their toes in front of the two-bar fire and watch that instead of trekking to Blundell Park. To me, that's like saying I don't go out on new year's eve because there's a party on the TV. Oh, I actually never go out on new year's eve, but I hope you get my point.
I reckon there are about 3,000 diehard GTFC fans who live close enough to be able to go to the majority of home games. By diehard I mean they keep going to games through thin and thinner. Competition from other football on the telly will not stop them. And then there are a couple of thousand other Town fans who will only turn up if Town keep winning well and they smell triumph in the air. And another 20,000 who will only ever go to Wembley. So, if my idea holds good, if you could buy a TV Town season ticket or a reasonably-priced pay-per-view telly ticket it stands to reason that a fair few fans who live too far from Grimsby, or who can't get to the match live because they are working or who won't or can't afford a match ticket, might stump up to watch Town on the television. Aren't the politicians trying to devise a framework for micro-local TV stations? I've just sorted out the Saturday afternoon schedule for them.
I don't reckon the home crowds would dwindle much, if at all from what Town are getting now. And I'm sure the revenue take-up from the TV would leave the club with more cash. Plus a lot of exiled fans would be very happy indeed not to spend their afternoon deciphering text commentaries, frankly weird possession statistics and battling with ropey audio commentary streams in between double-checking everything on Ceefax. Come on gentle reader, you've nowt else to think about in this match-free zone, so consider my crazy talk and email us your thoughts to diary@codalmighty.com.
If it's not enough to put you on the spot once, Richard Lord has emailed us asking another question: "I overheard a fan say this at the Kettering match: 'When Town are losing, a player like Cummins is shit - but when we're winning he becomes "a tidy player" or "quietly effective".' I've concluded that 'quietly effective' is a very polite way to say he did fuck all in a winning side. Are there any other footballing words, phrases or clichés that can be attributed to Mariners past or present that are kind on the outside but critical on the inside?"
Right, you've got your homework, our thoughts are with Mr Fell's family and friends, and I hope that young Peet has a right good time training at that Manchester United. See yer.