Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 29 March 2011

29 March 2011

We're used to Grimsby Town Football Club treating fans badly. To this day, the club's customer charter continues to give the contact email address that Cod Almighty learned was "defunct" nearly six years ago in July 2005. The club told us, the other year, that a Friday night game at Blundell Park had "proved to be a hit with supporters", when the attendance was actually below average for that season. A majority of us have voted against goal celebration music in two polls, and now they've ignored us and started playing it anyway. Goal celebration music in itself is a statement of contempt for supporters: it implies that our own spontaneous celebrations of goals are unworthy and need to be drowned out by something generic and corporate, imposed from above. And of course, we have a chairman who sees nothing amiss in publicly lying to supporters about his long-term commitment to a manager just one day before sacking him.

In the past few days, it's become clear that treating fans badly is no longer enough for GTFC. Now they're treating other clubs badly as well. Dean Sinclair has now completed his loan move to Cambridge United, but not before the Us' director of football issued a statement that the club was "very disappointed" that Grimsby broke an agreement not to announce the transfer until it had been ratified by the FA.

Secondly, there is, of course, the matter of HotPob's resignation as Boston United manager and subsequent appointment at Blundell Park. Now your original/regular Diary is no expert in employment law, but let's look at Deadly John (Topcon)'s statement about this to the Grimsby Telegraph the other day.

"Ultimately, David [Newton, Boston chairman] refused permission for us to talk to them. The news had clearly got through to Paul and Rob and they knew of this club's interest by then."

So the news had clearly got through to Hotpob. And how did that happen, John? In most contexts, I believe that's called tapping up, isn't it?

Just before last Saturday's failure against Tamworth, the Diary was talking to a bloke at the bar in the Rutland who said he grew up in the same neighbourhood as the Fenty family. "If owt ever went missing round our way," he said, "you just had to look in the Fentys' back yard - one of them would've took it, every time." Sadly, my friend didn't go on to explain whether tribunals and compensation were forthcoming for any stolen skateboards or tricycles, but now that the likes of Steve Evans and Jim Rodwell have moved on, let's hope Boston get whatever they're due from Fenty. And let's say good luck to the Pilgrims in the run-in: it looks very much like Hotpob did a great job there.

The main news ahead of tonight's visit of Darlington to Blundell Park is of a big reshuffle in Town's defence. With Lee Ridley, Darran Kempson and Steven 'Eh?' Watt all injured, the way is clear at last for Scott Garner, who has been recalled from his loan at Alfreton Town. I'm not sure what Garner has done to deserve his exclusion from the Mariners' team so far this season; are you? I mean if the centre-halves selected ahead of him had been doing a fine job all season, you might say fair enough, but with GTFC boasting fewer clean sheets than an unhygienic brothel surely Garner's chance has come too late, if anything. Garner is set to partner Rob 'Bye, Then!' Atkinson in the middle, while Bradley Wood is expected to fill in at left-back and Dwayne Samuels on the right.

If you believe everything you read in the papers, you'll believe that Neil Woods and Paul Groves are in contention for managerial jobs at Newport County and Plucky Scunny respectively. You may also want to write your own joke to go with a story about GTFC helping to publicise the dangers of debt.

Since none of the other diarists seem able or willing to check and see if anyone's emailed us, here's a dip into the Diary's inbox from the past few days. Just after Hotpob's appointment, David Elvidge wrote optimistically: "The dual management just might work. Here in Norfolk King's Lynn FC went under and was re-born as King's Lynn Town at level 5 (whatever that is) in the FA's grand order of things. It is managed by a duo who have worked wonders having started from scratch and the team is breathing down the necks of the leaders. So, Scott & Hurst the new Clough & Taylor? Well maybe not yet, but good luck to them."

Compare and contrast David's sunny outlook with this from Phil Watson...

"So let's review our recent permanent managers...

"We've had the manager with experience of managing higher up the league, and Town through and through. Failed.

"We've had the manager with experience of managing higher up the league, but no Town connections. Failed.

"We've had the manager with no experience of managing higher up the league, but Town through and through. Failed.

"So now we'll try a pair of managers with neither experience of better things, nor any Town connections.

"Are you hopeful? I'm not."

And finally back to David, to see how he felt after his first glimpse of Hotpob in action. "I made a 205 mile round trip from north Norfolk for Saturday's 'dawn of a new era' (do I get the Cod Almighty prize for greatest distance travelled by a Town fan?). A much improved performance, but hang on, I'm rating that against my last match: Rushden & Diamonds 4, Town 1. Saturday's match was OK in places, but Town seemed to suffer a loss of purpose for 20 minutes before the interval and similar in the second half, or rather someone on the field to bloody well remind them they were wearing the Grimsby Town shirt. But I'm in no position to comment on whether the performance was any better - I leave that to those around me on Saturday who turn up regularly, summed up by a general view of 'here we go again, the same old shite'."

Thanks for writing, and thanks for reading. Keep on with both, and keep on supporting, because it has to stop being shite eventually. Surely even the influence of Deadly John (Topcon) can't overcome the laws of probability. Can it?