Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 27 April 2011
27 April 2011
A lot of water has passed under the bridge since a thrilling debut by a locally born 18-year-old goalkeeper restricted big-spending Wolves to a 0-0 draw at Blundell Park. That was way back in 1999, of course, and big things were predicted for the youngster. Big things would surely have been achieved were it not for the persistent injury that forced him out of the professional game. But 12 years later it's a fine thing to see Steve Croudson receive official recognition at GTFC's player of the season awards last night. While 27-goal striker Alan Connell (is it 27?) predictably scooped most of the gongs on offer, Croudson was given a number of awards after returning heroically to first-team duties with the Mariners this year when Kenny Arthur was injured and then dropped. It's not just that these were his first appearances for the club since 2001 - it's that he should really be sticking to his role as goalkeeping coach because, on the eight occasions he's taken the field this season, he's risked knackering himself up good and proper. And not once, in serving his hometown club in this way, has he flinched.
So it's probably a safe bet to say Grimsby Town Football Club wouldn't be in anything like their current sorry state had they been able to field 11 Steve Croudsons for all those years since the Kitten first took the field. Well, they would, because you'd probably get relegated several times anyway if you put 11 goalkeepers on the pitch. But you know what I mean. Town's superb new official website, meanwhile, just keeps on performing as consistently as ever, declaring that the Grimsby Town Supporters Young Player of the Year was "10">BRADLEY WOOD". There are some who'd say this club doesn't deserve you, Steve.
Why? Well, your original/regular Diary has no wish whatsoever to be cruel about the cretins who deserve to be publicly flogged for the appalling series of catastrophes that their incompetence has visited on our football club. In only the most recent of these, of course, the great football and business minds behind GTFC have proved themselves incapable even of announcing a playing budget without making a massive great pig's arse of it. In particular, it will be interesting to see how Shorty and Shouty's repeated insistence that they'll get rid of underperforming players this summer squares with Deadly John (Topcon)'s assertion that the club is "aiming to pay off the minimal number of players possible". Surely that number would be zero. And how can you pay off zero players and still get rid of Rob Duffy? I don't know, but finding out is sure to prove as interesting as ever - and probably just as deeply traumatic!
Good Friday 22 April
Town are at Barrow tomorrow and there'll be four managers prowling the touchline. For Barrow have two chaps called Darren Sheridan and Dave Bayliss co-managing the club. We have two too of course but their names will just never stick in your Guest Diarist's head. Bayliss is a sprightly 43 year old midfielder who still gets picked despite his advancing years and his terrible temper. The Barrow boys got stuffed at Newport last Saturday and his co-manager took Bayliss off before half time because he was going to get sent off any minute. So they have angry and soothy too.
The shouty half of our management partnership was still too angry after the midweek victory at Mansfield to speak to camera, so the softly spoken other one deputised. He used the word nice five times in his first answer to prove to us what a good guy he really is. Later he used the words "not nice" to describe the sacking of youth teamers that he had barely had chance to assess.
Shorty philosophised that "that's what football is all about - winning games of football" as though we might mistakenly think it was about slavishly handing over a goodly chunk of our wages to watch blokes whom we don't know very well, not trying very hard, and to enable a local ex-fish merchant turned builder to waste the rest of the cash (as well as some of his own) on ill-thought out business plans that never get off the ground. This whilst denying other investors the chance to do the same or, one hopes, a bit better, unless he remains top dog and takes all of the decisions all of the time. Forever.
With games Tuesday, Friday, Monday the training on Thursday was 'light but bright' Shorty told us. With lots of goal scoring so that players get used to the ball hitting the back of the net. Sadly Charles 'Charles' Ademeno is injured so he couldn't claim to be the best finisher as well as the fastest runner at the club. Injured too remain Kempson and Ridley whilst Serge Makofo picked up an injury in his astonishing reserve team hat-trick performance at Leeds. All the more chance to further blood the yoof then with the very youthful Mulready and Southwell who are both first year YT'ers knocking on the first eleven door. Is it South-well or is it pronounced Suthell? If you know the answer to that then you probably know how to calculate on what date Easter will fall. But the religious types do seem to have got it right for once with a little spring heatwave in progress.
Chairman Fenty (TopCon) has issued a blathering video statement in response to the Radio Humberside rumour-mongering about a £200,000 cut in the playing budget for next year. Without acknowledging the radio station Fenty became Gordon-Brown-earnest in tone, trotting out a rapid succession of figures. He exhorts the viewer(s) to believe that just because next year's playing budget is £900,000 compared to £1m plus £70,000 for transfers this season then it is, in fact, not smaller at all. Aah! The master stroke of Fenty's devilish strategy is that the £1.07m included £200,000 spent on paying up players' contracts early. The £900,000 for next season is all for players! So no cut at all he says - hah!
Except, hang on, aren't we releasing players like Makofo, Ademeno et al who have years left on their contracts? So won't we have to pay them off? And haven't the new managers also told us very recently that the penalty for squad churn has to come out of next year's playing budget? Will Town ever stop paying off players to leave because the new manager doesn't like the cut of their jib? The chances are slim, gentle reader, and Fenty, yet again, has not explained anything accurately; he's failed to tell the simple honest truth. There is nothing wrong with cutting the playing budget but there is something wrong with trying to pull the wool over fans' eyes so pathetically.
Fenty says "he has never been so excited to work with a management team", making it sound like a businessman describing his first paid-for group sex encounter. He'll support them, of course, "right up to the point where he sacks them". Even the day before he sacks them he'll be right behind them. He has a long term strategy alright - it is simply to stay in charge. Top dog, Top Con Fenty.
In other news the club has withdrawn player interviews from Radio Humberside this week in a rather pitiful attempt to retain some value for Mariners Player subscribers. In vengeful return the radio station has broadcast equally pathetic hints that it might not bother with Town games next season. And between both entities sit us Grimsby fans, including the silent majority who don't write online diaries, or pontificate on messageboards and websites. The ones who suffer from these stupid, pointless childish spats as well as having to carry the heavy cross of supporting Grimsby Town throughout our lives. Happy Easter then to us, the meek majority who are alternately bullied and exploited by the idiots in suits. See yer.