Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 27 September 2011
27 September 2011
Standards in football are slipping. No, I'm not talking about Grimsby Town, or Anthony Elding, or any one club or player in particular, but the practice of football reporters who think, incorrectly, that the past tense of the verb 'spin' is 'span'. I'm not kidding - they do it. They actually say it. On the BBC, too. I'd let them off once - maybe twice if I'm being incredibly generous. But, as someone who once had ambitions of being a full-time professional sports journalist, it angers me that people who continually say such things as "the ball span over his head" or "it span across the line!" get paid lots of money to say it. And no-one seems to be bothered that they sound like a three-year-old child still learning the English language through a process of trial and error.
Your West Yorkshire Diary is in a particularly picky mood at the moment. Last night I had a friendly argument with a couple of acquaintances on Facebook after one of them dared to spell 'apologise' with a 'z'. I thought I was being kind and generous in offering my literary wisdom by informing them that if they're choosing to use the -ize ending then they will have to remember the exceptions when -ize is incorrect (such as 'compromise', 'televise' and 'revise'). I felt my advice, which is to use -ise at all times so that you can never be wrong, was very useful, but instead of being thanked I was just called a pedant.
I was also called a pedant while I was on my holiday. I told a leaflet distributor employed by the world-famous Linekers bar that if Linekers really was world-famous then they wouldn't have to profess it on their leaflets and certainly not on their property signage. But they do. So I was offered a free round of drinks and called a pedant at the same time, which was an achievement.
I left the country for a week and in that time John Fenty resigned from his position as club chairman, and Town won a home match and lost a home match. It's been an incredibly frustrating and 'bitty' season, to use a word my mum often says. No consistency. No hope. A bit of hope - then no hope again. A decent 20-minute spell! Rubbish for a game and a half. Excellent 90 minutes, at last! Very poor again. We're useless and we concede. We play quite well but fail to score. Managers are frustrated. Fans are annoyed. Look at Braintree! Clubs with no money are up there, showing us how it should be done. Shouty argues with a fan. Chairman doesn't want to be chairman any more. Mike Parker doesn't want to be chairman.
And so to tonight's game at Kidderminster, which will be screened live on an obscure satellite channel for viewers who have the inclination to subscribe to such stuff. A Harriers Online preview claims that we got soundly thrashed at home to Wrexham on Saturday and that we're looking for a win that will get our season 'off the ground'. Don't they know? The win that supposedly got our season off the ground was the 3-0 victory over an abject Hayes & Yeading at Blundell Park at the start of the month. We're up and running! This is us, Kiddy - the mighty Mariners at full pelt! We're 11 games into the season. Shouty and Shorty have masterminded six wins and five clean sheets in their 21 games in charge so far.
It's strange to think that I once felt sorry for Kidderminster on a day when Town actually did something rather impressive and won 4-1 at Aggborough in 2005. The result relegated Harriers - who were managed by Stuart Watkiss - from the Football League that day, and it was then that I felt grateful that Russell Slade had at least stopped the relegation rot. Michael Reddy scored a couple of goals, the Stick scored and put in a performance that earned him a new deal for the following season - and even Glen Downey made an appearance from the bench. For Kidderminster it was back to that division that they fought so hard and gallantly to escape from a few years before. Because, you know, there's only one automatic promotion spot. How awful. Let's pray the Mariners never fall down there, hey?
Shouty, we have a problem. Yes, another one. Bradley Wood is suspended so let the guessing game as to his replacement commence! Gary Silk won't be considered as he continues his recovery from an opening-day injury so the Grimsby Telegraph is taking a punt and suggesting that Charlie I'Anson will 'slot in' at right back. Lee Ridley will continue at left-back because Jamie Green is still injured.
There are options in midfield and up front though, if the managerial duo wants to dabble with some tinkering. Coulson could come back in. Eagle should stay in. Makofo... nah, haven't got the foggiest. Will he drop down to the bench? What formation will we start with? Both 4-4-2 and 4-3-3 have both shown their weaknesses so God knows what will happen. Well, we do - Town will look average, whatever the personnel and formation, probably fail to score, probably concede and probably lose because the opposition happen to be well drilled, organised and effective in the right areas. But if Tommy Wright comes off the bench and scores against us I'll be amazed.