Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 27 October 2011

27 October 2011

It's a damp, drizzly day for the Grimsby Town public training session. Somewhere to haul the kids off to as half term drags on. A chance for the sadly unemployed, the shift workers and perhaps the odd teacher to go along to a workplace and see how 'real men' earn their money. The diametric opposite to that GTFC docks trip 40 years ago to allow players to find out how hard and unsocial it was to be a lumper.

And your Guest Diarist fails to understand the 10 per cent McDonalds discount voucher offered to attendees. It creates a pester situation for unemployed folk with kids. It negates the 'healthy' side of the event, where kids at least get to watch exercise. And it boosts McDonalds' profits - a meagre 10 per cent off in a high-margin takeaway food business is a frankly pathetic gesture.

But I'm way off base in these times, aren't I? Sport is sponsored by beer and fast food: it's the new Olympian ideal. So I'm not railing at Grimsby Town, honest. I'm railing at the world: the world is wrong, someone said last night. The world is wrong.

As we build up, gentle reader, to the 'big cup weekend' the media machine is churning out facts and opinions. Radio Humberside's Talksport programme revealed that Ashington manager Gary Middleton once had a fortnight's trial at Grimsby. Guiseley boss Steve Kittrick reckons Ashington can win it - impressed by their display when beating his side 1-0 in the last round. Ashington striker Jamie Clarke, who has scored half a dozen goals in the tournament already, summed up the situation for the Mariners succinctly: "They are in a lose-lose situation. If they win then it will be said that they were expected to do so and if they lose they will be criticised and get hammered in the media." Ashington are as long as 12/1 (with Bwin) to win this match. The prospect of a really good night out against risking a tenner on the upset. Don't tempt me.

Back to Gary Middleton. He was a semi-professional defender who pitched up at Gainsborough once upon a time, but he also played in the 1999 FA Vase final for Bedlington Terriers. They lost that one at the last gasp, but the same season Bedlington knocked fourth division Colchester out of the FA Cup. You see, gentle reader, you see? You see how Google leads you on, how within ten minutes a small chance of defeat to lower league opposition becomes a near certainty?

All you need, though, is a winning mentality, and that's the one bloody thing we haven't got. More on this match tomorrow: I'll try to get a grip before then. See yer.