Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 23 July 2012

23 July 2012

Following the horror of the launch of the NSNOS©, Codalmighty wish to make it clear we have zero tolerance for unusable websites in any shape or form and any perpetrators will be banned from direct links within the diary for life. We have your interests and eyesight at the heart of our customer-centred focus. We care because we love you.

Hello boys and girls, it is Monday, it is Deviant Diary, it is a shame we have to talk about anti-racism, the dark stain on football's backside. Don't worry about a thing for Town are right behind the Let's Keep Racism in Football campaign. Hey John, it's just banter! Don't you have a sense of humour? Slippery Sepp, the risible raj, the nabob of naff, says shake hands and everything is all right in the football family.

This is no laughing matter.

Let's just remind ourselves of the club's official stance, categorical and definitive, right after the (now admitted to a court) racist abuse, as reported in the local cringe rag:

"Following the incident, stadium manager Nick Dale condemned Stevens' behaviour in a public statement saying: "We have zero tolerance for racism in any shape or form and in addition to any action taken by police, any perpetrators will be banned from our ground for life."

And more recently, following the court hearing, Nick Dale is reported as saying, presumably while washing his hands:

"At the request of the fan and the player, we facilitated a meeting and both parties were said to be satisfied with the outcome. We considered that to be the end of the matter from the club's point of view as we must be guided by the player and will leave it to the court to determine the outcome of the case."

Your Original and Regular Diary is already champing at the Tuesday bit, so I'll leave him to eloquently and elegantly lacerate the craven, immoral cowards we have running our club. He's very much the Hashim Amla of Diary batting, but without the beard.

Hear hear.

And all that overshadows the Friday fun. Town were rarely troubled by Miss Marples' 'Ull, a club three divisions and several financial stratospheres above us in the clouds. The Short One's snippily defensive post-match remarks tell you all you need to know about why Town swam in a pool of adequacy. Three numbers: 4-4-2. Decent keeper, staunch defence, solid midfield and we all like Cook.

Feed the monster and he will munch.

Are we bothered about the strange fascination Scottish Premier clubs have with ejected and rejected Mariners? First there was Simon Ford, then Gary Harkins, and now Simon Ramsden. Motherwell want to sign Rocket Ron for a European game. Ah thought so, no-one cares about such historical fripperies, all eyes are turning towards the big Lincolnshire sausage cup game tomorrow. Remember, we care because we love you. So to stop your minds being scrambled by arbitrary lights, colours and annoyingly imploring adverts to be a corporate sponsor, we've researched the facts and found out that the game starts at the silly time of 7pm. What a bunch of silly sausages.

Let's all get behind Captain Haddock's allotment world.

Right, now it's time to draw the raffle.