Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 12 July 2012

12 July 2012

Mardy Diary writes: Austin Mitchell, Dean Reynolds, Keeley Donovan, Norman Lamont, that woman who played Mrs Mangle on Neighbours, the Singing Postman, Bernie Taupin, Thomas Turgoose... your boys took one hell of a beating. Yes, in the biggest Grimsby derby match this century the Mariners put paid to those upstarts who actually play in Grimsby.

Goals from Hearn, Cook, Disley, Pugh, Pugh, Mendonca, McGrew helped the Mariners to a historic victory over their bitter rivals immediately ensuring that yes, this year, more than any other year, this year, the Mariners will find a way to get promoted. Look, we stuck 12 goals past a low-ranking Lincolnshire side in pre-season - what could possibly go wrong?

Of course it's just pre-season against an amateur side, so nothing to get silly about. Although reports on the new players sound promising and not just those whose scored. Scott also says they'll be making a decision on the winner of last night's reality show, I'm a Holding Midfielder, Sign Me Up to Here - with both Niven and Chalmers impressing last night.

So, 12-3 then (or 13-2 if you believe that permo-inebriated mascot), and even if it is only against Grimsby Borough it's still a good performance for the first game of pre-season. It's worth remembering that the 12-1 against Winterton in the relegation season was the last game of pre-season and all of the players would have been at peak fitness having been put through rigorous training by Newell and Stein. Ahem.

The other interesting fact about last night, of course, was that this was Town's first game in Grimsby since... well, I don't know. Our results database says we played Grimsby Borough in 1980 - but I don't think we have all the friendly results in there. I have a vague recollection of a game at King George V stadium in the mid to late 1980s, but I don't know if that was Town or someone else. If anyone out there knows the last time we played in Grimbo, let us know by the usual means...

Finally, the messageboards have been getting even more hyperactive than usual over the news that the club might possibly be in talks to build a new stadium somewhere off Peaks Parkway. The Telegraph has done a little digging around and unearthed proposals submitted to the council about the feasibility of development work in the area which includes the possibility of the club relocating. It's very early days, of course - but it's an interesting proposal. The site/area suggested is probably about as close to being central to Grimsby and Cleethorpes as you can get without flattening a large number of houses - and it's certainly a much better location than Great Coates due to its accessibility to all modes of transport, not just those in cars.

Still, aside from the hyperventilating of some fans, I would be surprised if anything much happens in the short term, whether anything happens in the long term or not. Whatever the outcome, though, it's sure to bring out one of those football-related phrases that annoy me so much: 'conferencing facilities'. Yes - here we go again, people telling us how the conferencing facilities will allow us to bring in all-year-round income, as if Grimsby is some sort of conference capital of the world (jokes about playing at Conference level can be left at the door, thankyou). I don't deny that there may be additional 'revenue streams' (as the men in grey suits like to say). I just don't believe in it without solid evidence to back up the claims. In the same way I don't believe in Jesus (but I have met Santa Claus - lovely bloke).

Oh, and before I forget: well done to the Telegraph for their digging on the stadium, but you lose marks for the use of 'goal-den' in the title of your report on last night's match. Yes - we saw it before you changed it to 'goal hungry'.