Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 6 August 2012

6 August 2012

If you analyse comedy it dies. If you analyse pre-season fixtures you cry. Yes, it's your final and some say last pre-season Deviant Diary spreading epithets, epigrams, bon mots and mots justes on the field of Town's broken dreams. And didn't we all cheer Mot Juste on Saturday. In your face Daily Mail!

This Olympics lark, ooh yeah, it's amazing, we think it's incredible, we say we're fantastic. But still we'll have to pay the bill. How do you feel? It's been an amazing journey, everyone's said so. All the time. Amazing. Really amazing.

Town? Nothing to hear and nothing to say and nothing to see. Friday night was not music night in beautiful downtown Stalybridge. Two halves of a Hearnless Town slunk away with a life-affirming 2-1 defeat to the gurning Cheshire cats, for whom Austin Mitchell scored with a political own goal. Oh, Mitchell Austin. What witty wordplay. The shorter one listened to the rhythm of a gentle bossa nova before rocking up a rambling quote for the trembling Telegraph. Something about not having enough wingers in the building. Presumably they believe they've got rid of enough of the whingers in the building. You will miss this weak punnery next week.

There was a trialist winger, but Nice Cop didn't bother talking about him, so why should we?

That leaves just one question on everyone's mind. Who will be the last man into the building? A vague haze of delirium creeps up on me at the merest thought that expensive, unwanted Impite Josh Gowling, a junior hair-bear, may join the space cadet as the Mariners' Maginot line. Ah, lovely, it's all made-up nonsense. That's just magical thinking.

Thank you, people of the world. I've reached all my personal diary goals and have no more love to give. It's time to let the next generation shine. It's been an amazing experience for you all. Amazing.