Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 23 November 2012

23 November 2012

Mardy Diary writes: So Town have bolstered their squad with the signing of Michael Rankine - who I have heard of but mostly because of that tit-for-tat he had with Brodie over a penalty while at York. Still, looking at his stats and a picture of him I think I can use my expert opinion of footballers to describe him as a big bastard of a striker. I think that's the technical term.

Of course, to properly fit in we'll have to Grimsbify his surname so from now on I'll refer to him as Ranking. Looking at Ranking's record then, he doesn't look much of a goal scorer but seems like he's here to perform that brick-shithouse target man role that Elding most definitely wasn't. You could say he's fulfilling the role that was originally intended for other notorious big-bastard Damian Spencer, before he decided to be permanently injured.

We are also reliably informed by York fan Jim Waterson that Ranking once won the Setanta Shield for Rushden with a 120th minute goal scored with his nose. Is this better than Livvo scoring with his arse? Who can say - but at the end of the day Ron, they all count no matter what you score them with. However, with Gregg Pearson's tweeted claims that Ranking has the biggest arse in football, Livvo's legendary arse-scoring hero-status may come under threat.

In other news it's nice to see that ex-chairman Fenty has been busy blocking proposals for a housing development in Humberstone. You might think this falls out of line with Tory policy which has relaxed planning guidelines so that rich people can build factories on the homes of the poor (or something) - but John has been very canny here.

Any fool can see that with the housing development blocked this clears the path for Fenty to put forward a new ground/retail development proposal for the land meaning it's only a short walk for him to get to and from the ground on match days. And he won't have to walk far to get to the garden centre/supermarket/DIY shop/abattoir/whatever that accompanies it either. The man is a genius.

Have a good weekend. Seeya.