Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 14 February 2013

14 February 2013

If it takes one to know one, then it takes a tinpot club to know a tinpot league. Ah, for those long-lost halcyon days in the top 92, when the sun always shone and games were never rained off, especially at, say, Rochdale. If there's anyone to blame for fixture congestion between now and 20 April, your original/regular Diary blames whoever decided the Conference season has to begin after everyone else's and end on 20 April, two weeks earlier than usual. Have we had an explanation for that one yet? Thought not.

Still, if it's fixture congestion porn you're after, check out the end of Canvey Island's 2000-01 season in the Isthmian League Premier Division (thanks, Ffion Thomas). That's it - scroll down to Friday 13 April. Is that 14 games in 23 days? It might well be. Think on.

And if it's Liam Hearn recovery porn that floats your boat, you'll be positively buoyant around the Grimsby Telegraph today. The bad news, however, is that the Hotshot's extended injury lay-off has apparently seen the player turn in despair to alcohol. "It was none of the physical stuff," explains Hearn of his return to training. "It was just passing drills, the warm-up, a few bits of running and then I was back in the gym with Dave Moore, getting hammered!" Don't worry, Liam, there's still time. The first step is admitting that you have a problem.

And just when you thought the only landslide in South Yorkshire was Nick Clegg's Lib Dems getting annihilated in elections to Sheffield City Council... this happens. That's your train journey to Blundell Park made a bit more interesting from now until the end of the season, then.

Lastly today, Dave T has emailed the Diary in response to our question last Friday regarding who we can make fun of now that Anthony Elding has left. "Well, having discovered yesterday that it is Limerick he is joining, I couldn't resist the following," writes Dave. Go on then...

There was a young striker named Anthony,
Who scored the odd goal off his shin and knee,
But when put to the test,
He was average at best,
And certainly not good enough for Division Three.

Marvellous! Dave continues: "I'm sure there's still some mileage in making fun out of Anthony Elding. However, joking apart, if we go up this year by a single point, we shouldn't forget his performance at Barrow." A fair point, perhaps, but let the fun continue! Email diary@codalmighty.com with more Elding limericks, readers, and we'll bung 'em up here! That's all for today, so thanks for reading and we'll see you next time.