Cod Almighty | Article

by Alistair Wilkinson

12 July 2007

In a nutshell
They're the Millers. They play at Millmoor, wearing red and white, and their fans include the Chuckle Brothers. They're managed by Paul Robins. They've recently stitched up the sole flapping from their shoe. They hate Sheffield and their ground holds even less than ours, but that's because the main stand's only half finished.

Goodwill hunting
Sheffield, they don't like it there. And my missus hates Ronnie Moore; she can't really remember why but that's the joy of football: irrational dislikes. And I don't like the Blades. And Wednesday seem to annoy everyone. We're like one big unhappy dysfunctional family.

And we used to have argumentative dinners with them twice a year at the second-to-top table. Like bickering distant cousins, we were looked down on by the rest of our family in that there second/first/Championship division and I for one have missed them. So back then we were punching above our weight; we were the Grimsby and Rotherham of the upper echelons. Maybe now we could be the Leicester and Wolves of the basement, annoyed at our position, convinced that it's not our fault and that if only we could get out of this nightmare division everything would be alright.

Previously
The last time we met was in the 2002–03 season, which was much better for Rotherham, as they finished with 20 more points than our paltry 39. That was the second year of their four-season nosebleed. In '04–05 the adventure came to an end and Ronnie Moore, their most successful – and dare I say it, Buckley-esque – manager of recent times, resigned before the finish.

It's been nowt but trouble at t' Millmoor since. In '05–06 Mick Harford had a promising start but then fell into a 17-game winless run. Alan Knill replaced him and while results improved, off-field things deteriorated. Rotherham United were losing £140,000 each month and had no way to plug the leak. With no tangible assets (Millmoor belongs to former chairman Ken Booth, who kept the ground as payment for the £3m he was owed) administration was not an option.

The 'Save Our Millers' campaign swung into action but it needed to raise £1m just to finish the season and a further £1m to finish the main stand. A consortium of local businesspeople just about saved the day and Dennis Coleman took over as chairman. On the final day of the '05–06 season they played Milton Keynes Dons and sent BFSFC down to Blundell Park.

The financial drama was not over. The 2006–07 season began with minus ten points due to their company voluntary arrangement. The Millers started the season well as Alan Knill and his side pulled up trees to get the club out of the relegation zone by the end of October, a noteworthy achievement which earned Knill the manager of the month award. Then the star duo of Lee Williamson and Will Hoskins were sold in January for £1.2m: a fee that will guarantee the Millers financial stability till the summer of 2008.

But what's good for the bank balance is bad for the league table. Without their stars they were sucked back into the bottom four. By March Knill's side floundered 13 points from safety; he was sacked (since Ronnie Moore left they've had three managers and two relegations, and been dogged by financial troubles; Buckley-esque indeed). Mark Robins took over as caretaker and after three wins in six he was given the post permanently. But it just wasn't to be: Rotherham were relegated by Carlisle and lost their last four games, finally finishing 13 points from safety. A big clear-out and a quick rebuild have followed.

Ins and outs
It's been a busy old summer for Rotherham with the kind of two-way traffic familiar to Town fans. After the woes of '06–07 the wheat needed separating from the chaff, and the Millers have ground out Eugen Bopp, David Worrell, Delroy Facey, Ritchie Partridge, Michael Keane (yes, that one), Gary Montgomery, Neil Cutler and not forgetting Martin Woods. Woods is the only player over which any regret has been expressed.

So much for the dead wood; who's gonna supply the collective kick up the arse for our erstwhile second-tier neighbours? Starting at the back Andy Warrington is the new number 1. He's not very experienced for a 31-year-old, with a litany of injuries restricting him to only 274 league appearances, although he was Doncaster's keeper in their fourth division championship season. At centre-back Ian Sharps has arrived from Tranmere, a 6'3" stalwart who Rotherham claim will be much missed at Prenton Park. Marc Joseph comes in from Blackpool, but with just three appearances last season it's safe to say that he wasn't an integral member of their play-off winning squad. Dale Tonge from Barnsley is a bright young thing who can play right full-back and in midfield.

Moving on to that area we have Andy Todd (not that one) coming in fromAccrington Stanley; he scored in our 4-1 defeat at the Crown Ground. Danny Harrison is another acquisition from Tranmere. At 25 his 89 league appearances need adding to: will he make the step up from squad member to first team regular? Paul Robins thinks so. Mark Hudson arrives from Huddersfield, another mid-twenties midfielder looking to up his bit-part role using the Football League's smallest stage; and Peter Holmes completes a trio of twenty-something midfielders who have yet to shine.

Up front there's another Holmes: Derek. He's 29 and scores one in five, and comes from Carlisle by way of several uninspiring clubs. Tom Cahill, who impressed Robins in a reserve outing against Scunthorpe, jumps up into the Football League from Matlock Town; and Chris O'Grady did enough last season while on loan from Leicester City to earn a permanent transfer. The fee of £65,000 is the only money spent by Rotherham so far this summer.

Their expectations
In a glass-half-full or empty question, fans of the Millers might just be glad that there's a glass.

Mark Robins admits that he still needs to strengthen the squad, particularly in defence. Of course, he talks the talk and walks the walk, but then he has to. He assures the Millmoor faithful that Holmes and O'Grady can play together and that they and the rest of his strike force will fire them out of the basement. Holmes has experience of this having led Doncaster's attack in their championship season. While his statistics may be unimpressive, his pedigree cannot be doubted.

Our expectations
I remember our first season back under feet of the chair that's under the table; we were unrealistic too.

The rot is in, can it be stopped? Robins has signed almost a new team, including an impressive spine in Warrington, Sharps, Todd and Derek Holmes, but it looks brittle: an injury here, a suspension there and that spine is damaged beyond repair, paralysing the rest of the team. My prediction is the lower half of mid-table; rot stopped but only for obscurity rather than respectability.

Spotters' guide
It would be churlish to call Rotherham United an unremarkable side; but they are. Their entertainment comes from league mobility. They've managed three championships and a total of seven promotions, and of course there's usually another yo to the first one: they don't stay still for long.

They won the Auto Windscreens in '96. They've never been past the fifth round of the FA Cup and have only got that far twice (1953 and '68), but they did make it to the League Cup final in 1961, losing out on an aggregate score of 3-2 to Aston Villa – they won the first leg 2-0; gutted! Their most capped player is Shaun Goater who turned out 18 times for Bermuda. They've got a long-serving full-back: Paul Hurst should make it past 400 appearances this season, and he's one of the few surviving senior players.

The deal to bring Tom Cahill from Matlock Town includes a new partnership between the clubs: Matlock get first refusal on any players Rotherham wish to loan out. Oh yes, and Cahill has a law degree! He's from Matlock? Get it?

When we visit in November what extra activities could we partake in? According to Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council we can Take Steps to Health. A little disappointing. Or there's the Clifton Park museum – it's free and open from 10 till 5 on a Saturday! I hope the football's entertaining.