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Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 5 June 2013

5 June 2013

Your original/regular Diary is utterly fed with up football these days. It might have been the FA's general secretary Alex Horne, defending his organisation's latest act of vandalism against the FA Cup with the words "consuming our football". It might have been the Cardiff fans dropping their pants, bending over and saying: "Yes, as hard as you like" when a random global billionaire turned up with a few quid and a rebranding exercise. Or it might just be Town being even more rubbish than they were ten years ago. Whichever way I try and account for it, I feel less interested in the game than at any time since I started going again in the late 1980s.

So when I hear that Town's season tickets have gone on sale, where I once said: "How quickly can I buy one?", I now I tend to think: "Don't all rush at once."

All rushing at once, though, is precisely what Town fans appear to have done. Well, a few of us anyway.

What impresses me is the way, every year, when season tickets go up for sale – regardless of how desperate a situation we find ourselves in – Town always manage to find some favourable comparison against the previous year's figures. Cumulatively this gives the impression of a club attracting more fans every year – as opposed to, say, one undergoing its lowest and most sustained downturn in support since the late 1960s.

So let's face it: I haven't the faintest clue what will happen next season. And nor do you. Be honest: you haven't got a clue either. We might secure the title by an 18-point margin. We might go bust and have to reform in the Belford Furnishings Ltd Midland Regional Alliance Division 1 (later Division 2 after an unsuccessful legal challenge in which Deadly John (Topcon) attempts to force the FA to pay his speeding fine). But let's pause a moment to salute whoever it is at Blundell Park who manages, year after year, to find so relentlessly positive a spin on season ticket sales without so much as a sideways acknowledging glance at reality. It really is a marvellous feat.

Elsewhere? There's a friendly against Bradford and Andy Cook scored for the England C team last night in Bermuda. I can't be bothered to look these up on the web so you'll have to do it yourself. I hope the Bradford friendly is away because then we can spend pre-match in the Fighting Cock and post-match in the Beehive and weep wistfully into our pints as we contemplate another heavy defeat and wonder why we're not allowed any decent beer at home games.

I also can't be bothered to make up a Bermuda Triangle/players going missing/Richard Brodie joke, which is a shame, because it would probably have been quite good, but that's the sort of thing that happens when you're utterly fed up with football. See you tomorrow!