Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 21 June 2013

21 June 2013

Mardy Diary writes: In these modern times where the internet is literally over-run with child pornography and governments are using Google Maps to spy on our bedroom activities, it's good to hark back to a simpler time in history. Who remembers the halcyon days of knifecrime? Or when the kids used to be big on joyriding? Or perhaps your memories go further back to the likes of Elvis provocatively waggling his hips at young girls while singing songs about undelivered mail?

I like to think back to a time when the close season meant the close season and we all forgot about football for a few months and relaxed a little – instead of constantly expecting the management to keep us informed about which players they 'fancy'. Admittedly, back in the day when players used to hang around for more than six months, there wasn't necessarily an expectation of transfer activity in the summer months. These days we like to know which players we can get in on a short-term contract to plug a gap until we can get someone in on loan once the season starts.

It was with all of this in mind that a decided to look at historic GTFC activity in June in the pre-internet days. Here is what I unearthed:

1991
Alan Buckley signs 47-year-old defender Ron Fletcher from Altrincham. Lifelong Town supporter Tim Berners-Lee is so outraged that he immediately invents the internet and not long afterwards the internet messageboard just so he can vent his spleen. His first message reads simply: "Buckleys out!!1!"

1986
After selling the majority of the squad, Mick Lyons signs John Grimshanks as "rush goalie", stating that John can cover many positions and will replace the entire defence. Training consists of an experimental 1-0-1 formation with John punting the ball upfield to Lyons. While successful on the training ground, the tactics fail miserably when attempted in a competitive match.

1971
Lawrie Mac works hard to make the club part of the community by taking the players on trips around schools and factories. A week later he extends this further by finding summer employment for the players as teachers, accountants and firemen. Dave Boylen combines a day job as a rag and bone man with an evening job babysitting local youngsters.

1956
On hearing of the formation of the new European Cup, Allenby Chilton writes a strongly worded letter to the FA withdrawing the club indefinitely from the competition to protect his players from "the savages of mainland Europe". As a result Grimsby Town will never compete in a European competition in years to come.

1922
George Fraser invents the advertising hoarding as a means to hide the lower legs of female supporters in the stand, citing that his players were driven to distraction by such a brazen display of female flesh.

Have a good weekend. And before I go, a quick mention for the Internet Mariners who mailed earlier this week about the George Moulson commemorative match taking place in Ireland. Craig Nuttall dropped us a line to say that they are planning on taking a team over to compete so if anyone is interested you can contact them via their website. Seeya.