Cod Almighty | Diary

Shut that door

21 August 2013

OK, it's your London Diary here today, and there are some weird things going on. Firstly, it seems that we played a game of football yesterday that nobody knew about. I presume that the players who played, the managers, backroom staff, some people at BP, and probably the coach driver all knew about it, as they were there. But we the fans knew nothing about it. According to Chesterfield's official site, we lost 5-1 at Cylinders Sports Ground (rubbish name) behind closed doors.

Now, firstly the term 'behind closed doors' really annoys me. It should be 'behind closed gates' because, you know, they have gates at stadiums, not doors. And while I'm on the subject, some of the grounds we've been playing at recently don't even have gates – Hayes & Yeading springs to mind. Anyway, the ground where we played (but didn't know about) yesterday doesn’t even have any doors/gates/anything. A simple Google search shows that the Cylinders Sports Ground (postcode S41 0TS) is just a training pitch. I've zoomed in and can't see a door to the pitch. Therefore, it couldn't have been behind closed doors. I’m fully aware that I now look slightly unstable. At least a stable has a door though.

The report doesn't state who played for Town, or who scored the goal. Our newly superb new official website doesn't even mention that we played a game of football. Eoin Doyle scored a hat-trick for the Spireites. Good on him.

Talking of hat-tricks, some other weirdness has happened, but in the past. In the Telewag yesterday there was an excerpt from Sir John of McDermott's new book, which I read and it got my tummy rumbling. I love stories of the olden days where things were black and white and you could leave your front door open all day. Anyway, Sir John tells a story of playing an away game down in that there Plymouth which is a lovely story to whet your appetite.

However, our very own Tony Butcher was at that very same game. Sir John said the left winger he was supposed to be marking scored a hat-trick. But Tony says: "I was at that 5-0 defeat to Plymouth. Two of the goals were 25-yard crackers from the Argyle right-back, so wouldn't have been set up by the left-winger (who would have been Gary Nelson), who I don't remember scoring a hat-trick either. I've just checked with Argyle's official site and no-one scored a hat-trick for them between 26-12-84 and 17-09-88, both from the great Tommy Tynan, the Devon Kettleclobberer. Mr Macca may defend without tackling, but he can't defend that."

It's Sir Macca, Tony, but there we go. Was anyone else at the game? Can you help us put this to bed? I guess had the game been behind closed doors then we wouldn't be having this debate. That’s all from me. Have a lovely Wednesday, and I do mean that.