Cod Almighty | Diary

The tape of detritus

23 December 2013

Miss Guest Diary writes: A winter Saturday without a Town game is like a sausage sandwich without the ketchup. Or the sausage.

I have found that a good way to deal with the absence of someone or something important is to do something I wouldn't normally do. So it was at the weekend that I found myself having a posh Christmas lunch at Doddington Hall. You could tell it was posh because the food came in a little pile: turkey at the bottom, then a cross-hatch of carrots and parsnips, a slice of stuffing and, balanced on the top like Andy Cook in the lone striker role, a pig in a blanket. And of course there wasn't enough gravy; sorry – that should be 'jus'.

This was followed by a trip to the Bauble Barn – who knew there were so many things that could be hung on a Christmas tree? Then came the farm shop, where everything was either organic, locally sourced, hand-made or simply eye-wateringly expensive. My strategy was working though: the experience couldn't have been further from a trip to Blundell Park, which usually involves a cheese roll and a cup of hot chocolate.

But I came back to earth with a bump. We got chatting to the family ahead of us in the queue for the tills and, in the uncanny way he has, my other half managed to turn the conversation to football and discovered they were Lincoln fans. Grilled on who in the Lincoln team we should look out for on Boxing Day, they offered Conner Robinson. According to Soccerbase, he made his first appearance of the season a couple of hours after this conversation, coming on to score an equalising goal at Chester in the 92nd minute. So they either have the gift of foresight or were trying to throw us off the scent.

A desultory search around the internet for a preview of the Boxing Day game – well, you weren't expecting one from us were you? – turned up these pessimistic predictions from some Lincoln fans. Oh dear.