Cod Almighty | Diary

It's not a bap; it's a bread bun

9 January 2014

"Obviously Paul is his own man – he knows what he wants, and to that degree we've had some challenging debates, but it is a very, very healthy relationship."

So you've already figured out from the erroneous use of the phrase "to that degree" that the quote above originates with GTFC's language-mangling non-chairman Councillor John Shelton Fenty. But have you given any further consideration to this utterance since it was quoted in yesterday's Grimsby Telegraph? Had it emerged from anyone else's lips, your original/regular Diary wouldn't be quite so worried about those "challenging debates". And I'm not suggesting for one moment that I believed those crazy rumours about Shelton pinning Mike Newell up against the wall by his lapels. But given the major shareholder's apparent ability to start an argument on an uninhabited planet, alarm bells are ringing in my ears. Alarm bells, and the phrase "irretrievable breakdown".

Back on the pitch, or possibly next to it, Paul Bigneau says his team's stylish football will have surprised the eight viewers who could bear to watch ITV long enough to see highlights of the FA Cup game against Huddersfield. "The neutrals may have thought that, as a Conference team, we were just going to be a bunch of horrible meat-heads on Saturday, lumping it forward, but it wasn't like that," the cultured GTFC defender said, before returning to a DVD compilation featuring Arsenal, Swansea, Barcelona, late 1970s Ajax, and that ropey Youtube footage of the ace goal Town scored against Huddersfield in about 1991.

The transfer news is there isn't any transfer news. Where does that leave us? With the £6million redevelopment of Grimsby town centre, of course. Personally I'm torn on this one. Sure, nothing is ever done well in a town that never looks beyond the end of its nose. But on the other hand, if Grimsby were to shake off the habit of a century and do something well, the people still wouldn't like it. Grimbarians are a breed that is steadfastly loyal to all that is plain and dreary, and violently opposed to all attempts at making anything look a bit less shit.

And finally today, 107 of you have now put your names to our campaign urging GTFC to install #chipsatGTFC. A magnificent effort – many thanks. Please do share the petition on your social networks and help us push on. We'll show them that a new stadium counts for far less than deep-fried potato and battered haddock!