Cod Almighty | Diary

Questions and (some) answers

28 April 2014

Deviant Diary writes: Nope. Just had a look, still no Hyde report. Will you ever see another one? Like an old soldier, Cod Almighty is just fading away. Perhaps we should give up entirely if Town get back into the Football League. The telephone lines are now open.

Events, dear boy, events.

Saturday's globally irrelevant exercise in Essexian ennui left the Manager Formerly Known As Shorty wryly and genially admiring the referee's new pen, which is either the next Disney 3D animation or FA-baiting sarcasm. Six second-string first-teamers booked and none of the Braintree barrow boys had Yorkshire's driest wit desiccating and dissecting the obtuse officiating to Sir John of Tondeur, the laid-back sun lounger of local radio reporting.

Enough of the past; look to the future now, it's only just begun.

Who, what, where, when and how? It's Gateshead at home on Thursday and away on Sunday at 4:30, because that's the way the Cookie crumbled. Why? That's ultimately what separates us from the animals, isn't it.

Why? A good question. The massed ranks of Marinerdom will be seated behind the high jump pit, bringing back awful memories of Brighton's woeful Withdean detour. At least if it's sunny you can wear an open-necked shirt in the open end in this wide open tie. It's going to be a rocking good time, isn't it? Just like Newport last year. What an atmosphere awaits and nothing can go wrong now. The Heed've got our old players and our once-and-future manager and play like we used to. Squint and you'll get confused. You'll need to squint to see. They're filming the next series of Squint in Grimsby, aren't they?

Sorry, I'm drifting in the shifting sands of time and emotion. Let's focus, people: the excitement builds. We can't wait.