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Cod Almighty | Diary

No need for for McMenemy's

30 April 2014

So before we head in to the first leg of the Conference play-offs, your London Diary is going to confer the 2013-14 Cod Almighty Alternative Awards, or the CAAAs ("C triple As"), as you can also call them. We know where we've finished in the league. We know who won the official prizes at the player of the year awards. But let's now look at the honours that the players really care about.

Best hair
For me, a footballer should have a traditional lid. Short back and sides with a slight variation at most. Remember, we're a football team, not a boy band, and that's why Lee Peacock is where he is today. This was a close call between two Town midfielders who, week-in week-out, show great style and flair with their perfectly sculpted hair. So, narrowly beating Andi Thanoj, the award this year goes to London Diary favourite Alex Rodman.

Best beard
Not an award with huge competition this year. Occasionally Craig Disley would have stubble, but not really in full-on beard classification. Sam Hatton has shown true growth this year, sometimes looking like an extra from Emmerdale. Well done Sam Hatton. LJL contributed too, with some Craig David-esque design. But this year the award goes to a defender who has been criticised for his first, second and sometimes third touch, but for his beard he's an obvious winner – well done Jamal Fyfield.

Best celebration
I like any goal celebration, as it means we've scored. For me, though, this was the nicest this year because when the lad scored at the opposite end to where the Town fans were, he pelted his way to the opposite end to celebrate with the black and white chorus. That's how you get a place in our hearts. What a guy. The best celebration award goes to the best hair in the team (officially), Alex Rodman.

Best run
I think the way a footballer runs tells you a lot about that person. In the past I've cried at the way Town players have run, Barry Conlon probably being the prime example. Gary Jones with his 'static' run. Gary Cohen, on the other hand, had a beauty of a run about him. But I think this season, the best run award goes to a striker who runs for everything, on and off the ball.

This clip is a perfect example of the forward's technique. There's a real excitement about the way he runs. There's a certain spark, and you know something is about to kick off. I quite like the way his head is slightly down with a slight arched back. Classic. The man in question is the Mariners' top scorer this season, Ross Hannah.

Worst goal
An absolute clear winner. When I heard this on the radio there was very much an air of confusion as to what had actually happened. When you look at the clip, it still looks no clearer. And if you look at Aswad Thomas on the back post, he has no idea as to what has just gone on. Well done, Lenell John-Lewis!

Best save
There's always an award for the best goal, but rarely for the best save. Until today, that is. We all know who has won this award as he's in been in goal for all but one league game this season. He's made a number of incredible saves which have kept us in a number of games. Without a doubt, this goes to the Town number 13 for an incredible reaction save from a header against Kidderminster away.

Some say that he was lucky that a rebound off the post came in to his arms, but I think that's exactly what he meant to do. Two of the Kiddy players even congratulated him after the save, it was that good. Take a bow, James McKeown.

Best lad
Football is, sadly, all about 'lad bantz' and 'lolz' nowadays with personalised number plates, massive headphones and expensive moisturisers. We need to keep it real. We're Grimsby. This player very much does that. And what topped it off for me was last Saturday at Braintree, when he wasn't in the squad. Instead of retreating to the stand to Snapchat on his smartphone, he went out on the terraces and watched the game with the fans. Thank you, and well done Shaun Pearson. 

Best tweet
They say football hasn't seen a true philosopher since Eric Cantona. Since the dawn of Twitter, footballers can head to the internet to hone their prose. Joey Barton tried his hand, but now it's the time Tor town's number 9. The award goes to Andy Cook for this bit of poetry. Just beautiful. 

So there you have it, some great awards there. Some cracking winners. Yes, there will be some players a bit down and out having worked hard all season for a gong, but not everyone can be a winner. I'm already excited about next year's awards, and you should be too. UTM!