Cod Almighty | Diary

Did I say 12 tortillas? It should have been 16

10 July 2014

Good day to you all from the home of your original/regular Diary, and solidarity to our friends and comrades sacrificing a day's pay today to defend our public services. We salute you.

Two Marmite strikers from last season are back in the thoughts of Mariners fans today: first up, tireless Lenell 'His Name Is A Shop If You Remove The Hyphen' John-Lewis. The Town target man was in the news just a day or two ago, telling the Telegraph he was pleased with what he achieved last season but wanted to do even better in 2014-15. His supporters said fair enough, he scored nine good goals; his detractors said, what on Earth are you on about, he missed ninety-nine open goals. Either way, LJL last night made an excellent start towards realising his stated intention for the new season, scoring twice as the Mariners beat Cleethorpes Town 3-1.

Another attacker who recently divided Grimbarian opinion is Connor Jennings. A loanee from Plucky Scunny last season, the player spectacularly failed to replicate the form he showed on an earlier loan at Macclesfield. After wowing the world with 16 goals in as many appearances for the Cheshire side, Jennings managed only one in 12 for the Mariners. Town fans can't decide whether the fault lies with Jennings, Paul Hurst, or North East Lincolnshire Council. Either way, we'll find out soon whether he'll be back at BP for the new season or seeking pastures less grimy.

Anyway, isn't it nice to see Paul Crichton back with the clu… oh, he's gone. Town's erstwhile goalkeeping coach, sadly, has proved quicker at moving on to a better career opportunity than he was at coming off his line and handed in his notice at Blundell Park before the ink even dried on his contract. Here at Cod Almighty we can't understand the decision at all. After all, Blackpool is only the same as Cleethorpes but with a football club three divisions higher, more stag and hen parties, and a pier that actually extends out over the sea instead of just a 12-foot bit of plywood from Homebase.

Staying at the seaside, Town's next friendly is against Scarborough Athletic this weekend, who are playing at Bridlington until they can move back into Scarborough. Scarborough is better than Cleethorpes, of course, but I haven't been to Bridlington in yonks so I am in no position to comment on that. There may be trialists.

There weren't trialists last night, but there were a hi-diddly-heck of a lot of Town players, as Pauls Hursts fielded entirely different line-ups for the first and second halves, adding a host of youth types to his work-in-progress first team. New wingy type Jack Mackreth impressed the watching thousands, and second-year YT Josh Venney caused eyebrows to raise over at Too Good to Go Down.

Incidentally, isn't it nice having players with names like Venney which you only ever see in North East Lincolnshire? Let's go one better than John Hall's 'Geordie Nation' vision and one day field a GTFC first XI entirely comprising players called Venney, Lidgard, Hanslip and Teanby. See yers.