Cod Almighty | Diary

The ham was a hit but the prawns went down poorly

28 July 2014

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. Bored. Bored, bored, bored. I tell yer straight, your own, your very own Deviant Diary is reet Peter Bored with Town. There ain't nothing goin' on but counting chickens. I'm waiting for the inadequate trialists to cluck off, and we all know that pre-season doesn't really begin until we've played Brigg Town. It's a phoney baloney war at the moment, so I'm snoozing not boozing as Town are cruising for a bruising against all these big teams like Donny. And Matlock.

You want a striker who scores goals? TMFKAS is sanguine about Porky Parkin's booze cruise to Nailsworth. Money, money, money, it's a rich man's world and Positive John hasn't sold enough mushroom pies recently.

Ah, yes, Friday. I didn't go, Burnsy, but they might not have been rubbish. I was waiting for Great Auntie Mary and a bus that never came. But I can make it all up through the prism of pain that is experience. Town defended OK and attacked a bit better, but the Skeggy-botherers' keeper had a semi-blinder without blunders. Roly-poly Rhead rolled into an open goal and lovely Liam was audibly loved. Then everyone went home to their tomatoes. Well, it is summer and we're in the salad days of the pre-season.

So Friday night was Mansfield night and TMFKAS is happy at losing by less and encouraged that at least our non-scoring is down to not scoring rather than not shooting. Don't worry, Lennie's on fire™ and already back to last year's form. He's missing open goals again, so nothing can go wrong now. Yes, it's all coming together perfectly for another season of attritional grind in the kingdom of the blind. Hold on tight to your dreams.

Don't forget that Sticky Robdale brings his mini-Mackems to Town tomorrow (7pm start to save on the electric bill) promising "a few first teamers". Proceeds to Town's youth team, so look on it as an evening of fun in the sun with the stars of tomorrow. And Town. Do we really care about the opposition anyway? Don't we go to watch Town? So what are you moaning about! Get down to Blundell Park. Real fans do not put conditions on their support.

Of course, I would go myself, but I have to audit my duvets.