Cod Almighty | Diary

Yes, but where's the Jaipur mojito?

11 September 2014

Where are we up to, then, people? Shaun Pearson and Craig Clay are having their knees tapped by a white-coated man with a small wooden hammer. The GTFC duo were subbed off during Tuesday night's game at Sincil Bank with ailments believed to have been caused by prolonged exposure to Lincoln. Whether they will be back in time for Saturday's visit of Torquay United to Blundell Park, heaven only knows. And of course, when I say heaven, I mean Dave Moore.

Fallout from Tuesday night's game continues to settle across northern Lincolnshire, raising fears of crop failure by blotting out the sun, causing widespread radiation poisoning in humans and animals, and leading to long-term genetic irregularities across the population. It remains unclear whether anyone will notice. Your original/regular Diary has counted 814 Lincolnshire Echo articles on the match so far, right down to the reasons for Sean Newton's goal celebration, and it's still going strong.

Lincolnshire Police, meanwhile, have revealed that they arrested four people the other night and are investigating an incident in which a steward was knocked to the ground and suffered a head injury. The victim – a Grimsby steward who had travelled to help his Lincoln counterparts look after the game – was apparently struck by a thrown chair. The rozzers are reviewing CCTV footage, but if you have any information, give them a shout. Remember, incidents of this kind are not particularly rare when Grimsby Town fans are in the vicinity, but please don't have nightmares.

Last up today, a return to this weekend's home game versus Torquay – and an interview with Chris Hargreaves in the visitors' local paper. The bits where the Grimbarian Gulls manager is talking are kind of OK, but I enjoyed the piece because the Torquay Herald-Express is so intrigued by the fact that Hargreaves' dad used to run a motorbike shop on the Grimsby Road that it mentions it twice. Enjoy.