The Diary

Go for it, Scotland

18 September 2014

Well, you think you can't sink any lower and then you get patronised by the manager of Halifax Town. Good day! How are you? This is your original/regular Diary, still not crazy after 12 and a bit years. How would you vote in the referendum on independence for Yorkshire and the Humber?

Today is all about Paul 'Hursts' Hurst. The fans are bitterly divided – nowt new there, then – about whether, when Shorty and Shouty slimmed down to just Shorty exactly a year ago, Town sacked the right manager. Me, I'm the same as ever. Does Hursts have what it takes to get Town promoted? Dunno. Probably not. Do I want him to get sacked? Dunno. Probably not. Will I still support Town either way? Dun… er, I mean yes. Definitely. I suppose.

It doesn't make a difference who the manager is. It doesn't make a difference to my support, and it probably doesn't make a difference to whether Town will get promoted. We used to have a chairman, once. It makes a difference who the non-chairman is.

(Promotion's not the be-all and end-all, anyway, is it? Sure, it'd be great. I'd like Town to win games and get promoted. I really love it when that happens. But you're never going to enjoy the football if you go in to every season obsessed with hating the league you're in. And you are supposed to enjoy it, you know. It is, actually, a game. The players and the outcomes can spoil your enjoyment. But you can spoil it yourself too.)

The Grimsby Telewag, for its part, is practically stalking our immaterial manager at the moment, spinning out a story from Hursts's every utterance. Hursts wants a striker on loan. Hursts wants a big striker on loan. Hursts thinks Craig Disley is still alright. Hursts will keep pissing about with the formation. I'm guessing the Telewag doesn't want him to get sacked, or they wouldn't have a newspaper.

You lot have excelled yourselves, anyroad. Yesterday that London Diary asked for your favourite football ground names, and they've been pouring in.

@codalmighty Millwall's evocative 'Cold Blow Lane' on a wet and windy Tuesday night in February? Never mind The Den or The 'New' Den.
— Papio Gringo (@sootmonkey) September 17, 2014

@codalmighty stupid idea by the Diary, the best ground name ever in the history of naming grounds is/was Gay Meadow. Oakwell quaint?
— Mark Dillerstone (@BaWBarmy) September 17, 2014

@codalmighty Solitude - the home ground of Cliftonville - is the best stadium name. That or Farsley's Throstle Nest.
— Ian H (@ianh1988) September 17, 2014

@codalmighty Probably just nostalgia but the old grounds sounded better.Saltergate, The Old Show Ground, Feethams was Donny Belke Vue?
— barry whittleton (@realbazwhitt) September 17, 2014

And that's just on Twitter. By email, Rob McIlveen has nominated Molineux and Spotland ("Do I win £5?") and Rich Lord the sadly defunct Vetch Field. "I loved it simply because 'Vetch' was such a weird word," he explains, pointing us to an epic aerial photo by genius football snapper Stuart Clarke. "While I'm on the subject of Swansea," adds Rich, "did you know that Adrian Forbes was the last player to score at the Vetch before they moved to the Liberty Stadium? And did you also know it was scored past Joe Hart?" I was not aware of that, and my life is obscurely and ineffably richer now that I am.

But, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Over to you, David Elsey…

My favourite ground name is 'the Dripping Pan', home to [Isthmian League] Lewes FC. The origin of the name seems to be lost in the mists of time. Lewes FC are also famous for their legendary matchday posters.

So there you are. The Dripping Pan. Indisputably the best stadium name in football. Oh, and it's in non-League. And so are all these chips. The ambitious, must-return-to-the-League outfit at Blundell Park still won't sell you those. Just saying.