Cod Almighty | Diary

Sheffield United, you are a disgrace to civilisation

12 November 2014

Just as astronomers prepared to hail the Rosetta probe as the first artificial device to be successfully landed on a comet, so Grimsby Town fans rejoiced as the first corner of last night to successfully pass the near post landed on the head of Shaun Pearson. The result of one will be a more comprehensive understanding of the composition and density of comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko, ultimately leading to greater insights into the origins of our solar system. The result of the other is a win over Halifax Town, ultimately narrowing to six points Barnet's lead over Grimsby at the top of the Conference Premier.

Your original/regular Diary reckoned it a decent showing from Town last night, showing the resilience that earned that record as the meanest defence in their division. Halifax opened it up once or twice, sure, but James McKeown (who still isn't called Macca, so stop disrespecting the player who is) only had one save to make. It was just about a deserved result, against one of the league's most effective sides.

Said narrowing of said gap will inevitably lead to indiscriminate use of the 'P' word in the environs of North East Lincs. There are those who think it could be Town's year at last. And there are those who think the current Mariners team retains many shortcomings.

Me, I'm a bit of both. Town look good on their day, but seldom brilliant and sometimes awful. The thing is, you don't even have to be that good to get out of the Conference. Look at that Newport side that turned us over in the play-offs the other year. By any reckoning they were really quite an ordinary side – and yet they still went up. In the end, I got out of Grimsby so I could still dream. But I'm still a Grimbarian, so my dreams are ever jaundiced and morose. This is my justification for allowing a modicum of hope into my world: reminding myself that everywhere else in the world is sheer mediocrity.

A-ha-hand finally, don't panic, we've got another goalkeeper. His name is Nick Draper, he's 21, and he's come to save us from not having any cover for James McKeown (who still isn't called Macca etc etc and so on) while Callum Bastock has got the poorly. Nick's arrival continues his grounding in Lincolnshire football after previous spells with Boston United, Lincoln City, and Inverness Caledonian Thistle.