Cod Almighty | Diary
Man bites hot dog
11 December 2014
Today's big story in the world of GTFC? Ross Hannah won't be going out on loan. Given that nobody had particularly envisaged that Ross Hannah would be going out on loan, it's something of a non-story. The need for web traffic to keep up advertising revenue has already seen local journalists forced to concoct 'stories' from nothing more substantial than a messageboard post, and today we seem to have gone a step further.
This has got your original/regular Diary wondering what other non-stories might drive clicks to the websites of both our hard-pressed local media and our cash-strapped football club. In the spirit of seasonal giving, I've come up with a few suggestions to help the editors along. Ho ho ho.
Grimsby Town FC have lost a large amount of money
Newly published accounts reveal that the Mariners spent more than they received in the latest financial year. A detailed plan to address the increased debt involves directors repeating the phrases "Peaks Parkway" and "conference facilities" with their eyes closed and their fingers crossed.
Club shop to open during normal shop opening hours
In a dramatic retail development, it has emerged that the shop at Blundell Park will be open this Saturday – the same as usual, and the same as most other shops. A GTFC source explained that "this is the time when most people like to do their shopping".
Two young members of squad go out on loan
Promising youth team graduates Zayne Hibaldstow (18) and Harrison Harrison (18) have joined Alfreton Town on an initial month's loan. Both players were given one-year contracts last summer but their only first-team appearances to date have been in the 8-0 FA Trophy win against Great Wakering Rovers next week or something.
Season ticket sales up on same time last year
Despite season ticket sales at this time last year having been up on season ticket sales at this time the year before last, season ticket sales this year have somehow contrived once again to be up on season ticket sales at this time last year. "No, we don't understand it either," explained a member of the GTFC ticket office staff.
Former GTFC player says something inoffensive about club
Pressed by our reporter, somebody you'd completely forgotten about who played for a month on loan under Lennie Lawrence has admitted that he won't be upset if the Mariners at least maybe stop getting relegated sometime soon.
Town's proposed new stadium moves a step closer
North East Lincolnshire Council has granted an extension to the permission to discuss the option for a proposal to schedule further discussions regarding the possibility of talks on the granting of provisional negotiations over potential opportunities to explore a site for a hypothetical new stadium. Peaks Parkway has been ruled out now, so they're looking at Great Coates again.