Cod Almighty | Diary

Always back to front, dem da rules

17 December 2014

A week today until we celebrate Christmas in our own way. Me? Well, your London Diary will be eating, and then eating some more. Don't get me wrong: I like presents, both giving and receiving – but I just love cheese. You can't stop me, and Christmas is the only excuse in the calendar year to scoff on 12 different species of cheese in one day.

The downside of this is that come Boxing Day – and I remember this from every year at Sincil Bank – the away stand absolutely stinks. A polyphonic cacophony of aromas polluting the Lincolnshire air. We arise at dawn and take our arse bombs to Macclesfield. NO SURRENDER.

Why is he talking about cheese? Well, mainly because there is sod all to bang on about. I feel sorry for the guys at the Telewag – they get paid to panic over no news.

I was at the club's training ground the other day (somewhere that Deputy Doig praised recently) for 'a thing'. On the door of the training ground it said 'welcome to work', which I enjoyed. A little reminder that the players are at work. Sure, it's my ideal job, but it still is a job. Another thing that made me smile was a few of the players asking the gaffer and the physio if they can go out for a few more runs. They enjoy work, seemingly. Good lads.

This got me wondering if the players have secret Santa. I then spent a good two hours considering what I'd get the lads. In my head I got Scotty Neilson a shower cap, Shaun Pearson a Lynx Africa gift set, Aswad Thomas some longer studs (because he spends a lot of time on the floor), Carl Magnay a knuckle-duster, James McKeown some seamless pants (for when he bends down to take a goal kick) and Craig Disley the key to my heart. I'm over you, Rodman. I really need to get out more.

I'm self-employed, so secret Santa at my work ain't that secret. I just spend £5 on myself (sometimes £10 if I think he deserves it), usually from the club shop. The Christmas party is sometimes dull, sometimes fun, never sexual.

Anyway, that's all from me – I've got to go and plan this year's party. Also, look out for a video from the club this week... I hear it's a bit of fun. UTM!