Cod Almighty | Diary
We three kings of Orient aren't
26 December 2014
Retro Diary writes: Boxing Day, and I hope everybody got what they wanted for Christmas. If so, can Miss Guest Diary please give Carl Magnay back, as he's needed today.
Personally I didn't receive a single Grimsby Town-themed gift this year – probably because my Mariners garden gnome from last year has been lying prostrate under the cotoneaster with one broken arm ever since the second Gateshead play-off. My family have now realised that my relationship with football is complex and volatile and probably best not messed with at times of goodwill to all.
It does feel slightly weird to be getting up on Boxing Day and not setting off for Lincoln. I really didn't like having to play them twice so close together. Although the away victories were nice, we always seemed to come out of the double-header exhausted and with injuries, and not really retain any consistency afterwards. Weird that we should have been paired with Macclesfield this time – the blues certainly aren't short of local derbies, Altrincham being the very obvious one. They must be rather bemused, as we are, about the fixture computer's grasp of northern geography.
John Askey's Macclesfield, currently sitting second, have had an amazing start to the campaign given the resources at their disposal, although the second half of their season looks somewhat tougher than the first on paper. The last time they were second at Christmas, in 1996, Kidderminster were top with 55 points, the same as Barnet are now. The following May Macclesfield won the league.
Macclesfield are one of those teams against whom, strangely, I have never developed any kind of grudge. They have generally been small and not dirty, and their fans must eschew all manner of local Premier League enticements to stick with their local team, which you have to respect. However, it doesn't mean we accept being below them, and we're certainly not forgiving them for letting Germany train at their ground during Euro '96.
No doubt in a couple of hours we'll have a large support – I'm hoping we top 1000 – in the exposed away end at the Moss Rose, with plenty of seasonal calories to sing off. There might even be the odd smuggled cigar in there for nostalgia. If you're posh and in the seats, you can have a drink in the Keith Alexander Bar.
Town will give a start to former Silkmen winger Jack Mackreth, who still has a bunch of good mates over there in Cheshire. Hopefully he will have been a handy spy for us, and will finally produce the performance that his hype endlessly insists is possible.
On Sunday we take a turn for the agricultural when Lincoln visit. After the tactically suicidal Sincil Bank debacle back on September 9, I think Hursty owes us a straightforward 4-4-2 for the return battle. Being inferior man-for-man right across the pitch, I expect the Imps will be resorting to the sort of tactics for which, shall we say, skill isn't necessary. Our big mission in that match is to stay calm. If we give the ref a chance to start waving cards about we're in trouble. If we avoid eye contact and remain stoically un-petulant, we really should have too much for them. As always with Lincoln, being assigned a ref who hasn't just left school would be a great help.
The same goes for the fans too, of course, as articulated beautifully by London Diary on Tuesday. There is a rumour afoot that Lincoln have just rescinded four of their most notorious banning orders in time for the Christmas schedule. Rather than bellyaching about provocative timing, it would be better if we just didn't get involved at all. Thanks.
In 'other news': this week Hereford United have finally been wound up. Majority shareholder Andy Lonsdale was said to be driving to court to show the judge a statement showing he had £1m in the bank, an amount easily big enough to wipe out the club's debts, but got ‘stuck in traffic'. In his absence the judge said he was not convinced the funds were in place, and so time was called on the Bulls. Or it would have been for any normal business – as we know, football clubs have a habit of popping up again like magic two minutes later, debt-free and with a slightly different name. I know – what happened to "all romance will fail"?
Aswad is back in contention for today's game, which means we are without any team selection issues. I can't see that situation surviving the onslaught of a seven-day Lincoln sandwich, but we hope for the best. So get the Christmas jumper on and a pocket full of Quality Street – it's going to be emotional.