Cod Almighty | Postbag
Romance
6 April 2015
In this postbag, you take up London Diary's request for the auguries from dates at Town matches, and one or two other things besides.
Sitting with the opticians in the Main Stand
From the Grauniad:
"A colleague and I published a couple of articles relating to vision and the watching of football matches in an optometrists' journal," writes Dr Peter Howarth, from the Visual Ergonomics Research Group at Loughborough University. "In essence, we showed how the viewing of moving black-and-white striped patterns can improve vision, which was a finding consistent with a new treatment for amblyopia (reduced vision) that had been developed at Cambridge a few years earlier.
"In addition, we suggested (although we didn't have conclusive proof) that when the ball was consistently kicked into the air, there was a slight reduction in visual performance for spectators (akin to the short-sightedness seen in feature-free environments, and known as 'empty-field myopia' or the short-sightedness seen at night or 'night myopia')."
Those of us who've watched our share of Buckley-ball must have eyesight like hawks.
from Phil Watson
Letters Ed responds: Lets hope the linesman bears that in mind and waits for advice from behind him the next time he contemplates raising his flag at Blundell Park.
Another who got away
Colin Graves, the new chair of the England and Wales Cricket Board, is the self-made millionaire who was on Town's board at one time. Forthright, super bright and went from shop assistant to building Costcutter and selling it for shedloads. I assume the Ramsdens knew him from the retail world as Costcutter used to sell NISA stuff in the early days.
Bryan bleedin' Huxford got him disqualified on a technicality (hadn't attended the last few meetings) and so Town slung him off the board in May 2001.
And then came Fenty.
from Richard Dawson
Letters Ed responds: Graves is relinquishing his role at Yorkshire County Cricket Club to take up his post at the ECB. Under his watch, Yorkshire have become county champions.
A breach of the style guide
I note the reference to Conlon in the diary of Thursday 19 March. Is your original/regular diarist losing his venom as he approaches his middle years?
In all references to that former Town employee (I choose that word carefully as he never actually 'played' for Grimsby) this waster should be described as Barry 'Fucking' Conlon.
I'd be grateful if a suitable reprimand were issued at the next editorial meeting in CA Towers.
from Guest Diary
Marriages, births and away defeats
That thorny subject of romance and the Mariners is often discussed in our household.
When did we meet? Oh, that was in Bunny's club after the Oxford away match, when Kilmore got the winner; birth of son... listening on the radio as we succumbed away at Pompey; birth of daughter... again on the radio, surrendering away at Plymouth; romantic interlude in London... on coach leaving Waterloo at midnight after playing at QPR. Although my wife cannot judge me too harshly on that one. It was her head in the bin liner after a heavy night, not mine.
Who said romance and Town don't go hand in hand?
Up the Mariners.
from Rich Jones
Peaking too soon
I think it may be a stretch to call any trip to watch Town play as romantic, but I do remember the brilliant day I took a belter of a girl from Cleethorpes to her first ever football match back in the heady days of September 1998. Having been out with her for a while we had quickly exhausted most of the local teenage 'must do' social activities (underage drinking in the Sheaf, smoking B&H etc). So, in a bid to really hammer home what a catch she had landed, I offered to take her to Blundell Park to watch Town versus West Brom. Crikey, I think I may have even paid for her ticket.
This was the season after our momentous Wembley double so Town were back in the second tier and had kept the spine of the team from last season. We went in the packed out Pontoon and witnessed an exquisite 5-1 victory with a cracking atmosphere. West Brom were half decent back then but thanks to the brilliance of players like Groves, Macca, Handyside, Burnett, Lester et al they were swept aside with gusto. It really was a terrific performance and possibly my favourite ever Town home game. However, I vaguely remember trying to play it cool during and after the match in a lame attempt to impress. I should have just admitted I wasn't interested in going to Edwards and Chambers that night and what I really wanted to do was check the tables and scores on Ceefax.
As for the girl, despite rather too readily telling me how handsome Aidan Davison was, we have been together ever since. In what would become something of a theme in our relationship, I had a terrible feeling of things peaking too soon. Her first ever game was one of the best in recent memory. The only was way down. Playing the dutiful girlfriend she attended a few more games but quickly found better uses for her time.
By contrast, my first game was the draw with Aldershot that sent us down to Division 4. A much better preparation for a lifetime following Town I am sure you will agree.
Up the bloody Mariners.
from Charles Lumley
Fancy dress code
I seem to have lost track of the theme for Alfreton. So I am currently sat here at my computer in wellies, with red football socks inside them, my chef's black and white checked trousers, lucky underpants, CIBA retro Town shirt, hi-vis jacket, blonde wig complete with plaits, black and white jester's hat (with bells on), black and white scarf, a Harry the Haddock in one hand and a blow-up Thor hammer in the other.
That should cover all the possibilities, or have I forgotten anything? Too late now anyway, setting off in ten minutes.
<*))))))><
from Jeremy Baily
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