Cod Almighty | Diary

Don't believe the tripe

9 April 2015

When current Mariners captain Craig Disley joined the club in 2011, and tweeted about what a job it was finding somewhere to live, Cod Almighty tweeted back to introduce him to Gary Croft. It's probably the high point of our 13 miserable years of existence as a website, to be depressingly honest. That said, it's run a close second by the day in 2009 when a certain Town manager looked quizzically at us while posing on the BP pitch in a promo photo shoot for our ill-fated 'Newell revolution' T-shirt, shortly before we were walloped 4-0 by Crewe Alexandra.

What? What? Gary Croft is an estate agent, just like his dad, Gary Lund. But don't hold that against him. I know – it's a financial services occupation often brought into public disrepute by its less scrupulous practitioners. But it's not like saying someone is a merchant banker. Nigel making plans for the fishing? Here's an actual fact. In his capacity as an MEP, Farage was a member of the European Fisheries Committee for three years. Of 42 committee meetings during that period, he attended a total of precisely one. As one blogger has it:

UKIP are happy to use the suffering of the British fishing industry as part of their Vote UKIP propaganda campaign, yet when Farage actually had an opportunity to stand up and fight for the British fishing industry in a place where he could have made an actual difference, he couldn't even be arsed to turn up to 97.6% of the meetings.

From one member to several other dicks now. A few days on from the orgasmic spree of self-congratulation that followed Town fans' decent turnout at Alfreton, the full extent of dickish behaviour before the game is starting to emerge. Do you love the sound of breaking glass? What about injured police officers? Out of this league.

The actual high point of CA? No, that'd be getting hammered with Wimbledon fans when we went to Kingsmeadow on the weekend of the Broken Windscreens final. Pro tip: just take a Harry the Haddock to Kingsmeadow when Town are playing the illegitimate franchise operation, and you won't have to buy yourself a drink all day. Even when your original/regular Diary was lubricated enough to invite sundry Wombles to "kiss the fish", everyone still managed not to have a fight. It's easy if you don't try.

Oh, look – North Sea cod stocks are getting back to normal. Looks like those bungling Eurocrats might have known what they were doing all along. Now at least Grimsby finally has a plan B for when the renewable energy runs out.