Cod Almighty | Diary

A toast! With marmalade

28 April 2015

So farewell Keith Harris, whose ventriloquised line "I wish I could fly right up to the sky" – rather than the Beatles' 'Rain' – was clearly the real inspiration behind Oasis. Can someone look in on Orville?

Grimsby Town's player of the year award was last night handed to Grimsby Town's player of the year. In probably the most foregone of all recent conclusions, Carl 'Player of the Year' Magnay was formally given the title he realistically walked away with months ago. It's a pity our non-League football club couldn't be bothered to spell the name of its leading scorer properly, but then the sort of organisational culture that allows this to happen is also culpable for our status as a non-League football club.

Like other CA contributors, your original/regular Diary has enjoyed the resurgence of Craig Disley this season, so let's hear it for him too. Town have blown hot and cold this season, but it's probably still our best in years. The proportion of players who seemingly just can't be arsed (alternatively known as the Conlon Ratio) is clearly at its lowest in at least a decade – so as maddening as the team's tactics may have been at times, we have to appreciate the effort, right? With the chance of a Wembley play-off final against an old club where he's still revered, perhaps the Dizzer's career highlight will be yet to come, and to come soon. I've just ruined everything forever by writing that, haven't I?

Speaking of the play-offs, if we must, no, I can't be even remotely arsed to summarise the ticket news for you. Here's a rather endearing inside view from semi-final opponents Eastleigh instead, where officials are in pre-party planning mode, worrying about how many will turn up, and whether there'll be enough vol-au-vents to go round. No, it's not altogether informative, but it's nice that something about Eastleigh is endearing, because their playing style is anything but.

And finally, if we have to have shirt sponsors at all, then having the words 'CHIP SHOP' across the front of a Grimsby top is surely as good as it will ever get. This is both sad and ironic, however, when you consider that (i) the 'refreshment' kiosk next to the Pontoon DOESN'T SELL CHIPS; and (ii) if you respond to this glaring oversight by carrying into Blundell Park chips you have sourced from an alternative outlet, they will be seized by the stewarding special ops division colloquially known as the Chip Police. Or (iii) Jon-Paul Pittman.