Cod Almighty | Diary

This is the real quiz

29 April 2015

Good day, London Diary here with the 2014-2-15 Cod Almighty Alternative Awards, or the CAAAs ("C triple As"), as people have been calling them since their birth last year. Yes, Magnay cleaned the floor on Monday night, but let's have a look at what really matters in football…

Best hair
Now I said last year that a footballer should have a traditional lid, but sometimes not, and it was good to see last year's winner/traitor Alex Rodman wearing his Clare Balding side-swipe the other week. Hamish Watson deserves a nod as he's a had a couple in the short time he's been here, including the 'man bun'. In Cleethorpes. Brave.

This year, though, we've had a man who has not only sculpted his own barnet into an array of modern styles, but also sculpted the hair of many of the other players as he's a barber in his spare time. So hats off (to see the hair) to Nathan Arnold.

Best beard
Not many beards to report on this year, but two have really stood out for me. The first was the facial topiary of The Shop, with its rough and ready nature, but for me there is a clear winner. This man has grown this beaut of a beard in a year and could easily be mistaken for a trendy hipster in London's fancy Shoreditch. It's the man who looks like the man from Homeland, our captain, Craig Disley. Well done, son.

Best celebration
I've really warmed to this lad since he signed for us and, much like last year's celebration, any player who once he's scored heads straight to the fans at the other end of the pitch will win the hearts of the stubborn Mariners. So take a bow Jon-Paul Pittman.

Best assist with both feet off the ground and back to the goal (which is in the other half)
Sometimes you have to make your own caterogies so that you can recognise beauty such as this. Well done J-PP.

Best save
James McKeown, probably. Nobody else has been in goal. Best keeper in this league by a country mile. I have no footage of anything that he's done that we can watch. BUT, have a look at this save made by the sponsors' keeper in the Chairman's Challenge. Boom.

Best lad
Without doubt the ultimate 'lad' for this season. He's won the hearts of most women, and the hearts of most men, to be honest. He's to the point, he's a bloody good footballer, he's even got a banner with his face on it and they don't happen that often. The best lad for this season is our icon, Carl Magnay.

Best tweet
Finally, someone is standing up for the world and tackling not only the opposition but also the hard-hitting issues. Thank you Paul Walker.

Grimsby Town FC actor of the year
I hate it when footballers act on the pitch, diving and falling over like little children who are wearing their parents' shoes. And I'm almost certain most Grimsby Town players haven't been guilty of this over the season. This year has seen some of the players do some 'acting' in front of the cameras, however, for various Grimsby Town videos. Obviously your London Diary might be a tad biased but I think these videos are great. Have a look at the contenders for Grimsby Town FC Actor of the Year.

And the winner is... Lenell John-Lewis. What a guy.

There we go, done for another year. If you want to see any more categories in next year's gongs, then let us know. See you at Eastleigh! UTM!