Cod Almighty | Diary

Nothing to get hung about

25 May 2015

Miss Guest Diary writes: So that's the football over for another season. Apart from the final play-off game later today and the cup final next week – restored to its rightful place at last but featuring two teams who fill me with inertia. Oh, and of course there's the Champions League final on 6 June. Then it's the European Under-21 Championships in the last two weeks of June. Before we know it we'll be at the first pre-season friendly and it's off again for another season of triumph and disaster.

When did football get so all-consuming? Has it always been like this and I simply didn't notice before? Retro Diary gave us another of his brilliant insights last Friday into what it's like to support a football team and how impossible it is to explain to an outsider. I know that feeling only too well. Many of the people I know are like Retro Diary's stepdaughter in that they have no knowledge of or interest in football whatsoever. I have been asked in the middle of October whether the season has started yet, so trying to explain what a play-off final is and what it meant to me as a Town fan was pointless. I didn't bother and have been spared a lot of useless and painful commiserations.

This got me pondering whether it is a good thing to live near the team you support. A place where, after an event like last week, you can draw comfort and support from those around you, who understand exactly what you are going through. Or is it better to live further away and among people who know nothing about your team or its doings, and so be spared constant reminders?

Living in Lincoln, I do run the risk of schadenfreude from any local football fans who spot the little Town kit in my car window, but nothing so far. Taking pleasure in another's misfortune is quite an ugly thing to do, though I am sure we have all done it at some point. I have been following with no little glee the misfortunes of Hull and Newcastle in the past few weeks, but when Hull finally went down yesterday I actually felt a little sorry for them.

This might be because I don't really see them as local rivals. I have never lived in Grimsby, so don't have the natural south bank/north bank antipathy. And the two teams have never played in the same division during the 25 years I have been a Town fan. To cap it all, the Guardian's front page today sports a picture of two Hull fans looking very glum – but one of them is a little girl, and who could take pleasure in that?

Now we wait: for the fixture list to come out so we can plan our away trips; for season tickets to go on sale; and for players to sign contracts. The consensus is that keeping the squad together will give Town their best shot at automatic promotion next year, but I'm sure we all have differing ideas as to who will be the key player. I know who mine is, but I'm not naming him for fear of jinxing things – though regular readers will need no telling. All I will say is that his name's not a shop.

I will end on a mixture of praise and blame for the Mariners Trust. Praise for successfully championing the introduction of a young adult season ticket for £150 to bridge the gap between junior and adult tickets. Blame for discriminating against existing trust members. I have seen all the ballyhoo about the flood of new members since last week – and that's a great thing. But I have also seen pictures on Twitter of their fancy membership certificates. I have been a member for several years now and all I got was a confirmation email. Boo trusts boo, where's my certificate?