Cod Almighty | Diary

Punk rock pogo satellite

5 June 2015

Last Friday was the day things started going right again.

In the morning your weekend diary had something of a melancholy flavour. Captain Reliable and one or two of his younger team-mates had re-signed, but the talismanic Shaun Pearson was bound, it seemed, for darkest South Yorkshire, and others were dragging their feet. It was looking as though, having been just a kick or two from Conference escape, we were having to start the whole job again: a rebuild – and what's more, a re-build around Lenny. Your faithful Retro Diary, as you may have sensed, was a bit depressed.

Then within a few short hours, in an avalanche of loyalty to the cause and determination to put last season right, pretty much the whole lot put pen to paper – except, and wonders never cease, for Lenny, who managed to sneak up a division when no-one was looking. Pearson, the last to commit on the day, seemed to time his renewal for maximum collective joy – and pledged allegiance for two whole years.

Even with only one forward signed up, we were already looking at a decent squad, and all the returnees declared a determination to put last year's mistakes (which had previously gone unacknowledged) firmly behind them. In his post-signing interview, Pearson seemed all but ready to check the availability of open-topped buses for May. It was all going horribly well.

Only Magnay and Nsiala were left, but as we know, Toto does everything in his own time, and happily signed on Wednesday after getting a gruelling holiday out of the way.

If there's anything fans love more than a player who gives 100 per cent every game and kisses the badge, it's one who says far too much in interviews. Carl Magnay has always been more than usually effusive and frank. The occasion in mid-season when he seemed to doubt the commitment of his team-mates seemed not to cause too much dressing room consternation at the time, but should have been a warning.

Magnay's decision to carry out his contract negotiations on Radio Humberside clearly irritated his bosses. And his spoilt-sounding gripes about having to drive to work on his own exposed a little bit too much of the rarefied and usually private whims and foibles of a footballer's life.

He would like to sign, he said, but “it isn't as simple as that”. Actually it's quite simple; if you can't write, a fingerprint will do. So 'not simple' means he's deserted a club who unfurled a giant banner with his face on it, whose fans raised £30,000 in two days to pay for team-mates for him, and who are set on making 2015-16 the season of their lives. And that for a smaller club set to spend the campaign teetering on the edge of oblivion for the n-thousandth time.

And all because he is so desperate to go back to live near his clan that he can't wait until after what is a very short football career to do it. Well, OK, if that's what he really wants, there's no arguing with it. We thank him for a season in which he gave it everything, and wish him well on his odyssey into an unlit corner of the football world, played out, at least, within view of his retirement home.

Post-transfer, ever-honest Carl has already slagged off his new employer, saying he was leaving Town for a "much smaller club". This story has a moral: do what other footballers do – speak in clichés and don't say anything interesting. Oh, and never kiss the badge unless you mean it.

The club's other enigma, Lenny, did exactly the right thing and got his move upstairs while his stock was high. Terry Butcher has told Newport fans that Lenell can “lead the line well”. Of all his attributes – extreme likeability, coolness at penalties, hard work and effectiveness as a target man – leading the line cannot be counted among them. Or, for that matter, shooting, which could be a bit of a problem for a centre-forward.

Only when Lenny, in his smart new yellow shirt, wins a header to set up an attack, and then ten seconds later, when the ball flies across an empty net, is to be found loitering somewhere in midfield, will County fans come to realise why we've been so equivocal about our most frustrating of heroes. Even our area's two local newspapers take different views on him. Lenny will be very lucky indeed if the South Wales Argus gives him half as easy a ride as did our own Telegraph.

Anyway, we pass The Shop, and his famous song, on to Newport fans with our very best wishes, and great memories, among others, of him scoring with his face at Wembley on his birthday.

Ross Hannah has been eagerly snapped up by Chester: a super acquisition for them. I expect him to keep them up on his own – that's if he's not too quick for the dozy linesmen you tend to get. Bradley Wood (how can he not be a Town player with a name like that) joins Liam down the road at what's-that-place.

Meanwhile, the collective pull of Operation Promotion continues to amaze and impress. It feels like we're at the vanguard of a new kind of fan power, and it feels very, very good. We don't want to be doing it every year, but as a spontaneous gesture in response to a critical point in the club's history, it's nothing short of incredible.

I must admit, I rather thought that the previous five seasons were supposed to be 'operation promotion'. If I'd known they were 'operation see how we go, but don't expect too much', I might not have bothered with a season ticket. But this does, indeed, feel different. Failure is part and parcel of football, but it seems as though the excruciating needlessness of that failure has finally got to everybody.

Being placed by the bookies as only third favourites for the league this year, and not even behind Wrexham (who are my real concern) should act as the final bit of motivation, and has made me reach for another tenner on its own. This year every dropped point will be like a blow to the heart. And about time too. That's where some of us have been all along.