Cod Almighty | Diary

If you can't beat them, get them to join you

1 July 2015

Wicklow Diary writes: Much like the famous school boiler failure in the winter of 1982, this morning's Cod Almighty site outage gave me brief hope of a day off. Whatever the cause – the heat, the leap second, or just overexcitement that the Telegraph has live updates from Cheapside – it has been rectified and here we are. No chance of a day off for the Town squad either, as pre-season training has started this morning. Even with that additional leap second, the break seems too short for the ink to have dried on the players' close-season body art, let alone get a significant gut.

As the saying goes, if you can't beat them, er, get them to join you. As expected, Richard Tait became a Mariner yesterday. Like Nathan Arnold, Scott Brown and Andy Monkhouse, Tait has beaten us to the promised land of Division Four during our five-year residency in the National Blue Skrillerama Conference. Not that we're bearing grudges or keeping count... but if we are keeping count, that's two right-backs we've signed. I know Magnay was good but I didn't think it would take two to replace him – is that even allowed?

As mentioned, the Telegraph has coverage from Cheapside today so perhaps the club will make it worth their while and announce a third signing of the week. If they do, let's hope it's Ryan Bird, eh? And not just for the reason that everyone thinks he's quite good. We don't need a repeat of that unpleasant Marcus Marshall business - what were Town thinking of re-signing him? He hadn't been mentioned in a single rumour – if he has a good season he could expose us all as a bunch of know-nothing clowns mashing away at a keyboard that may or may not be connected to a computer.

The club proves that it's not just the fans that occasionally struggle in front of a PC with the slightly alarming headline of "Town Enter Reserves League" on the official site this morning. Thankfully the article quickly clarifies that we'll be fielding a second XI in a Central League East this season. If run properly in a sensibly scheduled league, the merits of regular game time for squad players and youth are obvious. Previous evidence would suggest that to be a big 'if', but today's news is certainly a step in the right direction.

Another dubious headline to get my attention was the Telegraph's "National League fixtures delayed after Tunisia terrorist attack". Perhaps I should be impressed that they managed to get a full article out of the footnote that the fixture list will be released at 1pm instead of 12 noon on Friday.

If we do sign Bird or anyone else, I'm hoping to see a continuation of a trend that's creeping back in: multi-year contracts like those dealt to Pearson, Bogle and Gowling. The next generation of Town fans can't have heroes if the entire squad changes as frequently as the kit. The 2007 publication of Mariner Men: Who's Who 1892-2007 is remarkably compact for something so concise. Just how concise? A few years back on a family outing to 'Ubbards 'Ills, my dad and I bumped into an old friend of his.

"That was Jack Catley... he played for Town," he confided in a suitably reverential tone as we walked on afterwards.

"Who?" I hear some of you ask (just as I had when we'd finally found a free picnic bench). Check your Mariner Men (p41) for details on his two appearances in 1962, his jobs after football and even his 40th wedding anniversary in 2006. That's how concise.

The book is a fine achievement by authors Rob Briggs and Dave Wherry – and if you think things have gone south for Town since 2007, spare a thought for Rob and Dave. The next edition of the book may require them to apply the infinite monkey theorem to deal with the plague of short-term contracts, loanees, trialists and Tommy Forecasts that have blighted the club since then.

So my relief at the bulk of the squad returning and the two- and three-year contracts being signed was, I imagine, matched by Rob's and Dave's. (Incidentally, they must happy enough with the Marshall signing – although they will have to break out the fiddly Tees-Wigginton-Ford multi-spell template).

“We've got our club back” is a comment I've seen and heard over the past few months. I think one of the reasons is that we can start to have heroes again. With players like Disley, McKeown (a special mention for his Batchian 200 games in four seasons) and Pearson, the team has an identity. "He played for Town" is a phrase that used to mean something. It could inspire a labour of love like Mariner Men and it could make your day in Hubbards Hills. It's been devalued in recent years but the current squad are giving it meaning again.