The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

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20 August 2015

Hello, and welcome to Thursday with me, 36 years after I became a Grimsby Town fan and 13 years after I became your original/regular Diary. You'd really expect me to know better by now.

If, like me, you were unlucky enough to be watching Town away at Mansfield on 14 February 2006 then, like me, you may recall a particular incident involving our team's goalkeeper. The player performing that role at that point in history was Steve Mildenhall. I pretty much loved Steve Mildenhall more than any other Town goalkeeper ever. So when he made a terrible mistake, fumbling an easy catch to hand the hosts a two-goal lead, I was mortified. But when the many Town fans in attendance, after a moment of stunned silence, roared their we-go-again encouragement to Mildo to turn the volume to 11, I was both thrilled and moved.

Why am I mentioning this now? No reason. Supporting an otherwise excellent goalkeeper when they make a mistake just somehow seems an altogether more magnificent response than, I don't know, barracking, heckling or berating him, or something like that.

Anyway, there's a new stadium to build, and by golly, Grimsby Town FC are not the people to build it. Back in March, you'll recall, with a £16million funding gap casting doubt on the Fentydome II project, a 'working group' was formed by GTFC directors to find potential investors and report back in three months. Here we are in August and the group has now reported back. Its findings? "We have utterly failed to find any potential investors, despite taking five months instead of three, so please can someone else have a try next?" the group's report doesn't say, but might as well have.

Remember: the GTFC directors who want us to buy into the notion that a new stadium is the only way to ensure Town's sustainability still haven't shown us the maths. And if the people running a football club can use a phrase like 'heads of terms' in a public statement and expect most readers to understand it, just imagine what a new stadium will actually look like if they ever fluke their way to getting it off the drawing board.

Scott Brown news now, and as if that piece of floating bone isn't enough to contend with, Town's missing midfield dynamo has received a second driving ban. The circumstances? After leaving a summer barbecue at the home of a GTFC director, Brown – who was also convicted of drink-driving in April 2012, before joining the Mariners – crashed his car, left the scene, and later refused to give police a breathalyser sample. This time the ban is for three years, and let's hope he bloody learns.

It is noteworthy, however, that the player joins Sir John McDermott and GTFC director John Fenty in the illustrious ranks of GTFC motoring offenders. Perhaps Scott should have told the court that "the imposition to myself and my family will be extremely impractical" or something showing similar levels of self-awareness and contrition. That would surely have done the trick.

Want more fun? Join the discussion on Twitter about the Town centre-halves thrown up front by desperate managers, but first read this tweet aloud in the voice of a spoilt five-year-old in a frenzied tantrum, about to thcweam and thcweam until they're thick. T'ra for now!