The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

The prime minister did WHAT to Lee Ashcroft?

21 September 2015

Well, we have a report on the Tranmere match and we have a factfile on the Tranmere match. And it's a good job we do, because your original/regular Diary is in no position to comment. As is normally the case when a game is played on a Friday, I wasn't there.

There's nearly always a good reason why I can't go to Friday night matches – it's impossible to leave work in time to get there; or there's a social engagement I can't get out of; or pubs exist. This time I was at the leaving do of a work colleague, which means I spent most of Friday evening balancing my phone in one hand and pint in the other, sighing heavily every time I pressed the refresh button, and waging a titanic struggle to avoid dropping either of those two important things into a plate of crispy fried noodles.

This got me to wondering whether football people have leaving dos. I imagine they would have in the old days, when people stayed with a club long enough to actually learn their team-mates' names. Since 2000 or so, though, we have lived in an age when the award of a two-year contract is – like the infrequent appearances of, say, Halley's comet – so rare as to be treated by some as a sign from the gods, portending the end of the world, or the coming of a new messiah, like John Cockerill. Fans often express their admiration for a particular hard-working player by citing his name and wishing for an entire team of them. These days if Town's players had a booze-up every time one of them departed the club, we would have an entire team of Tony Gallimores.

While I haven't yet reached the point of wishing for 11 Craig Clays, and James McKeown might need to work up some outfield skills before we run off a team of clones, it's great to see both players back and doing the biz for GTFC, isn't it? In Clay's case, this means back in the team and in form after the personal issue that kept him out of the side until last Friday. In McKeown's this means back in form after an illness-enforced absence from much of pre-season preceded a difficult first few games of the new campaign. Now wrap your viewing gear round this number, and if you gave McKeown grief for his errors last month, wash your mouth out while you're at it.

 

The Mariners are all over the Liverpool Post today – and not just because of its coverage of the Tranmere game: Town are also cited in a piece about some of the League Cup upsets and near-upsets inflicted on Liverpool down the years. We all know how big clubs' fans and big media historically cite the name of Grimsby – to invoke the shame of cup defeat, or the utter humiliation of having to play us in the league. So it's quite a surprise to find that while the Mariners' strangely overlooked 2001 win at Anfield is mentioned, it's the big club's loss to Northampton in 2010 that's called "arguably the most embarrassing Anfield result in Liverpool’s history".

The article appears in the context of another potential shock for the big club in this week's League Cup, and my favourite thing about it is the headline: "Liverpool FC be warned - Carlisle are aiming to become the new Northampton". Firstly, there is an unusually charming feel about the SEO here: it's almost not clumsy. Second, it reminds me of a long-running advert which puzzled members of CA team as we passed through Doncaster railway station for much of the early 2000s. "Can they make Doncaster what they made Carlisle?" it asked, enigmatically. Whether they ever did – or indeed which product it was that had helped Carlisle to attain a status so apparently desirable for Doncaster – remains a mystery to this day.